I wrote the following in September of 2014, when I was extremely alone. My best friend was just married and had moved away to London the day following their wedding. Me as a 24 year old man, recently heart broken, but yet optimistic really had reckoned with himself.
Cut to 3 years later, I’m happily engaged, feeling as if I could not be stopped moving forward in this thing called life. I no longer fear FOMO. I hope the words below heed some sort of advice to those that have issues with not being able to step away from the screen. I still try to abide by these principles to this day.
As I sit and listen to the waves crash on the lake outside of my windows in my hometown, I started to ponder a few things that have come to mind as of recent.
Having an open mind towards things is incredibly important, so bear with me on this one, it may take a bit of luck and faith that the words come out right.
This past weekend, my best friend, got married to the love of his life.
It got me really thinking. What has lead us all to the belief that the universe, God, or whomever you believe, will bring us to the specific person that we’ll spend the rest of our lives with? Or is the idea of a soul mate just a hoax?
Looking to the success rates of marriages in our country alone leaves me to believe that its a hoax. But only for some.
Learning is important in relations.
Not just learning about ourselves, but learning about others. What makes people tick? Why are they perfect for the me now, and could they possibly be perfect for me down the road?
This fights my romantic inside of my head, but it is a real struggle for most.
Its a tragic battle for me. But yet, I’m still learning who I really am.
To be apart of a whole is a scary thought to me right now, but that doesn’t make me stop searching day in and day out.
People continue to tell me that when I’m least expecting it, it’s going to happen. But, almost makes me more aware of my surroundings.
In the later parts of How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby states that he used to look in line at the bagel shop, seeing a girl reading one of his favorite books, and whistling the tune that’s been stuck in his head for the last week and would think, “maybe thats her,” but now he thinks, “I just know that bitch is going to take the last whole wheat everything bagel.”
He lost hope.
I wouldn’t say that I’m losing hope, I’m still a young(ish) guy. But it’s getting hard not to be cynical.
One of my friends from home, who is married, and everything else that goes with it, just had his younger brother get married this weekend as well.
He’s significantly younger than I am.
He’s married now.
(Stream of thoughts in my head when I found this out)
Am I getting that old?
People in my generation are going through life crises, sooner and sooner these days.
Sure, we’re not immune to having moments of panic, but mid-life crises like symptoms at 23, 24, 25, and 26?
We tend to over-analyze everything because of the way that we have come accustomed to communicating.
Texting over talking on the phone.
Hell, texting when you’re in the same building, or even room.
I am guilty of all of them.
It’s the convenience of it, and it’s starting to bother me whenever I start to do it.
It’s so difficult for us millennials to commit to anything serious, or so it seems.
The way that technology has started to root its way into our daily lives is a blessing and curse. I mean this in the best of ways.
I have my calendar on my phone. I record demo’s of my music in the voice memos app because I don’t want to boot up protools on my computer and setup a mike in my studio. I write my lyrics, and sometimes blog posts on my iPad or iPhone.
It’s all saved somewhere off in outer space or in the air on this so called cloud.
It’s amazing to be able to have the work and planning aspects of my life be easier. But the truth of it all is:
Life isn’t always that easy.
This has been on my end the reason why I find myself in some anxious situations. I used to always feel like I needed to be in touch with someone, and if my phone wasn’t buzzing constantly with text messages or Facebook chat messages, I wasn’t being social with others.
This is FOMO
FOMO is the curse of our generation, and is starting to really effect our daily lives.
What’s FOMO you may ask?
Fear of missing out.
#FOMO (how I’ll be addressing it from now on) is starting to interrupt our daily patterns as human beings, and starting to weasel its way into our ways we communicate.
No friend that lives in Chicago, I don’t care what you had for breakfast, but sick filter on your grammed photo though.
Oh, I posted a picture on my instagram of me working in the studio. Let’s refresh every minute or so to see how many likes I’ve gotten so far.
#FOMO is our failure to understand ourselves. It makes us yearn for the approval of others in the digital medium, and it makes us build our individual identity on approval of people that we barely even know.
We’ve become so addicted to the medium of us hiding behind a screen with communication that it makes our stomach turn when somebody doesn’t Snapchat us back or like our photo or status on Facebook.
When retweets rule your world, you’ve lost your own identity.
I’m starting to live with the mindset of “In all reality, none of these things truly matter in the grand scheme of life.”
Quite a paradox that this is coming out in a post that will be promoted on Facebook and Twitter huh?
Taking the break from the need to know everything this instant, to enjoying everything where you’re at right then and there is a huge lifestyle change.
It took some huge growing pains for me.
If something is important, you don’t always have to photograph it with your phone. Enjoy that moment where you are, with the person you are with. If it’s not a big moment, there is no need to be storing that away in your photos for later.
Remember the good times, and learn from the bad.
That’s all life is really about, isn’t it?
What do y’all think?