I Approve this Message.

Having spent a career in advertising I can say the biggest waste of money is political campaigns. Not because they don’t work, but because they waste good money on tactics we learned at recess in grade school. Find out what people would hate about someone and scream it as loud as you can until the kid disappears under a tree. Or nowadays, grabs a gun and kills everyone to get even.

An estimated 7.5 billion dollars was spent on the mid-term elections. Yes Dr. Oz can now go back to handling plastic turds and selling useless supplements on national television, but what did this “investment” buy? Thankfully there wasn’t a landslide victory for the MAGA crowd, but did it take 7.5 billion to convince Americans there is not such thing as Jewish Space Lasers? Oh sorry, Marjorie Taylor Greene won, so I guess we didn’t even learn that lesson.

We send out voter’s guides, why do we need all these ads? Well first off, voter’s guides read worse than a DMV manual. Where is the tension? The romance? The what if the phone rang at 2am, who would pick it up? Why don’t we put the Disney folks to work on making a voters guide fun for the whole family. Maybe if we had Mickey explain the racial implications of gerrymandering it might get some traction. And help distract the fact Uncle Walt wasn’t squeaky clean on many humanitarian issues if you take a deeper look into his history. Does that make you uncomfortable? Good, we need to start getting uncomfortable and standing up for reasonable, intelligent people.

Ok, nobody reads. Can you make a Tik Toc dance to explain Democracy? Perhaps put an “I voted sticker” over the nipple of a Kardashian? Well, that kind of tactic is probably why Trump and his TV crowd had a chance to display the ignorance of this country for four years, so not an ideal solution.

If we invested 7.5 billion in education, wouldn’t this at least help make us smarter? Maybe a curriculum on understanding debate, empathy and how to imagine yourself in the shoes of your opponent.

I’m hoping we get back to valuing intelligence and reason soon, before we end up serving college champions mountains of fast food in the White House and putting poop on Pelosi’s wall. Elected officials should be reasonable, intelligent and fair. I loved when the GOP just stood for small government and low taxes for the rich. I can understand and debate greed, selfishness and lack of empathy for the less fortunate. Jewish Space Lasers? Even Nurse Ratchet doesn’t have a pill for this new brand of Cuckoo.

I’m Matt Sterling, and I approve this message.



Retired Publishing Executive, writing for fun.

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