23 & Me Sells All DNA Assets To Chinese Government in 10 Billion Dollar Deal

Salt Lake City, UT — In a groundbreaking move that has sent shockwaves through the biotech industry, 23 & Me, the leading personal genomics and biotechnology company, has officially announced the sale of its entire DNA database to the Chinese government for an astonishing 10 billion dollars. This deal, hailed as “a monumental leap in international genetic research collaboration” by some and “the plot of a dystopian sci-fi movie” by others, marks the first time a government has purchased direct access to the genetic information of millions of individuals.

The CEO of 23 & Me, Gene Hackmore (a distant relative of the infamous pirate Blackbeard, according to the company’s own DNA findings), stated in a press conference held in Silicon Valley, “This partnership with the Chinese government is not just a transaction; it’s a bridge to the future of personalized medicine and global harmony. Imagine a world where your DNA can predict not just your health future but can also recommend the perfect Netflix show to match your personality. That’s the world we’re building towards.”

Critics of the deal have raised alarms about privacy concerns, the potential for genetic profiling, and the specter of a future where DNA data could influence everything from job prospects to matchmaking. In response, the…