We Were Promised Flying Cars, Instead We Got Tik Tok

Ladies and gentlemen, we live in a world of broken promises, and the one that burns me up the most is the goddamn flying car! You remember, don’t ya? When we were kids, they told us, “By the time you grow up, everyone’s gonna have a flying car!” Well, guess what? We’re all grown up, and I’m still sucking fumes on Century boulevard!

Now, we’ve got all this incredible technology, right? We can send a rover to Mars, we’ve got self-driving cars, we can print human organs on 3D printers, and even genetically engineer tomatoes that taste like a cheeseburger. But, can we get a flying car? Noooo!

And what do we get instead? Tik Tok? Twitter? I mean, what the hell is that all about? Millions of people wasting their precious lives, pretending they’re going to change the world. Change the world? If they could change anything, they’d put their energy into making flying cars a reality, instead of recording their pets wearing funny hats and writing SEO articles.

But no, we’re stuck with these so-called “technological advancements.” Smartphones, tablets, smartwatches — all these gadgets and gizmos that make us dumb. Do you know what we call a person who can’t survive without their phone? A hostage.

And what about these virtual reality headsets? It’s a perfect example of humans trying to escape…