Luckiest Guy On Earth

Recently someone noticed the line “Luckiest Guy on Earth” on my site and asked for an explanation. It’s a story that I love to tell and I hope it will serve as inspiration for someone out there.

I grew up somewhat poor. I lived in a trailer for a while and when the loan company took that and our only car, we moved into an upstairs apartment above my Grandmother. My Mom, Sister and I lived in that 400 square foot area for years. It was a creaky old house and having two small children in that space caused some conflicts.

My Mom worked her hardest to support us and went back to school while working and earned her way into a non-glamorous position at a local hospital. She toiled for the next sixteen years to make sure we were fed. She hated her job but did what she needed to do. My Father was in and out of our lives for years.

She toiled and saved until she was able to buy an old house for us. It wasn’t a palace but it was more space for us growing kids.

In high school I wasn’t a “bad kid”, but I wasn’t super interested in doing what they told me to. I failed three or four grades. I say “three or four” because I really can’t remember (and neither could the school). At one point I was listed in multiple grades in the yearbook.

I skipped school as much as possible and got into many fun recreational exploits and did my own thing for three years. I did exactly what I wanted when I wanted. It was liberating and scary at times. I had the notion that high school is largely a waste of time (which I still maintain) and I figured I might have some fun instead of staring at someone talking at me all day.

So, throughout this, I caused a lot of strife. My Mom was obviously not digging my trajectory in life and the school was ready to see me leave. I was rather confrontational when I saw fit (though never physical). It got to the point where I was considering dropping out. I was 17 years old and in 9th grade. Let me tell you, that is not a great place to suddenly wake to.

I had this sudden epiphany that being a burnout at 17 was kind of fun, but being a burnout at 40 was drastically horrible; and what I was doing now determined what I would be later. A life without options is the scariest place to be.

I was able to get into a vocational school and it started to show me the light that learning wasn’t boring, but actually super interesting and I thank those teachers to this very day. They changed my life.

So, at this point, I was going to high school in the mornings, vocational school in the afternoon, and I also worked full time at a local metal fabrication shop during second shift.

20 hour days for the next two years.

I buckled down and took control of my situation and changed my trajectory. It was super difficult and draining. I learned so, so much during those years. I graduated at the end of those two years even though I was behind by three.

So why am I the luckiest guy on Earth? I wasn’t supposed to succeed. Every reading had me pegged as a burnout loser. I like to think that I took the scenic route, and experienced life instead of just jumping through hoops set before me.

After all the wandering I now have a Master’s Degree and am myself a Professor. I largely taught myself web development and the Rails infrastructure and make quite the living. Happy, pretty healthy and no worse for wear.

If your kid is acting up in school, or not walking the line set forth in front of them, don’t be too worried. Guide them, but loosely. Let them find their own way and watch them blossom. It might just be that they see things very clearly for themselves.

If I had to do it all over again, I’d do it all the same.

Originally published at blog.matt-darby.com.