Experts Baffled by Happily Married Couple

Kim and Andy Hightower of Omaha, NE were uncharacteristically public on social media this week when they both shared identical photos from their vacation to St. Lucia. Friends of the couple were surprised by the doting tone both adopted in what appeared to be genuine professions of love and thankfulness for a happy 25 years of marriage.

Jan Kaufmann, a neighbor of the pair, admitted she was more than a little taken aback by the overt display of affection. “Kim’s last post was 2 weeks ago sharing a photo from the local news about ice build up on bridges, warning her coworkers who frequent that route to be safe. This came out of the blue.” Indeed, there seems to be a conspicuous lack of “life milestone” posts from the newly minted Silver pair. This in spite of their youngest daughter recently accepting a full academic scholarship to Northwestern, and their son spending his last Winter Break of College at home.

Dr. Franklin Rasad of Creighton’s Lifespan & Relationship Research Department highlighted the abnormality when analyzing the situation: “Typically married couples replace passion and interest for their partner with the fulfillment they get from projecting a perfect life. The St. Lucia anniversary post is noteworthy for using terms like ‘teammate’ and ‘friend.’ Words that should have long been abandoned by this point in their marriage, replaced by a singular focus on publicizing the success of their children- the only part of the other’s life they still want to succeed.”

Adding to the drama of the situation, the controversial photo post was made at the midway point of the pair’s vacation, right before a 3 day sailing excursion with no cell service. As such, the couple wasn’t available for comment, but this was found on their daughter’s Tumblr account:

“U have no idea how ruff it’s been for me romantically when i have to live in the same house with these love freaks. My latchkey friends are wayyyyyyyyyyyy better prepared for the soul crushing realities of modern dating ha.”

Despite growing up with parents who genuinely love each other, and rarely post about their scholastic achievement, Kim and Andy’s children (who as minors can’t be named without consent) seem to be remarkably well adjusted.

For those interested in perhaps trying out this alternative form of marriage themselves, Dr. Rasad says there isn’t much science to help you reach a similar place. He did add however, “…we frequently see this type of behavior from lifelong Dave Matthew’s Band Fans.”