Things I’d Love to be normal — Consistent Inconsistency
I haven’t written in a while.
I don’t feel good about it.
OK, that’s a massive understatement. It’s stressing me out. It’s bumming me out. It’s psyching me out.
Which is nuts, right?
I write a tiny blog for friends and family for fun. I have about 90 followers.* My most popular article by far has still been read less than a 1,000 times. The pressure couldn’t be less off.
And yet, here I am, frustrated. Unable to write. Unable to create. Unable to express myself.
What’s going on here?
Well folks, and this might come as a huge surprise to you, before we get into that we need to talk a little about neurodivergence, ADHD in specific.
A Refresher on ADHD Paralysis
We’ve spoken about this before. ADHD Paralysis, or Analysis Paralysis, is really helpfully summed up by add.org. They write
You can’t decide what to do or where to start. You can’t take action.
That sums it up nicely.
Nothing is possible for absolutely no reason. You have desires, goals, plans and so on but you can’t do it. You just can’t.
The last time I wrote about ADHD Paralysis I wrote lots about it. I gave definitions and examples. I did analysis.
That’s because the last time I wrote about it, I wasn’t really suffering from it. I was remembering how it felt, or, maybe describing how it feels more generically. The point of that arti-blog was to talk about the sort of things that might mean you need help making decisions.
This time, I’ve been in ADHD Paralysis for the best part of 2 weeks.
Before I go on I want to give a little background. One of the reasons I write is because I wanted to share my experiences and perspectives. Like a lot of queer neurodivergents, I felt so alone as a kid. I didn’t think anyone understood how and what I was feeling.
And I reckon it would have meant a lot to me to have read about neurodivergents or the work of neurodivergents when I was feeling alone. Sooooo… now I’m an adult and have a voice (of sorts), I want to use it to help people. I want people to know that they aren’t alone or, I don’t know, doing anything wrong. They’re just zebras. That’s a call ahead reference to a point I having made yet. This article is by far the most ambitiously sturctured one yet!
Anyway, I hope that as people read this, they might:
a) Understand how people like me feel and think (whether that’s being poly, autistic, pansexual, an immigrant, ADHD-having or, most inexplicably, a football fan).
b) Understand the neurodivergent/queer/immigrant/poly folks in their life a little better.
c) Feel like it’s OK to be weird. Because it’s fucking incredible to be weird.
As a result, I try to keep it light. OK, to be totally clear, I’m not afraid of getting real. I’m not aiming to be Jimmy Fallon ruffling the hair of a fascist in any sense. I don’t want to be inappropriately chipper by any means. But I try and keep it light enough that you can read my work while eating lunch or dumping out and it not massively affect your mood or the rest of your day.
Today we’re going to do something a little bit different. Just for a bit.
Today, if you want, we’re going to sit in ADHD paralysis together. I’m going to try and use words to explain how it feels to be unable to move even when you want to. I want to try and explain how my brain regularly paralyses me. I want to paint a picture of the experience of ADHD paralysis.
Which, to be clear, won’t be pleasant. So, because I aim to be the Great High Woke SJW Cuck**, this is a trigger warning.
Let’s dive into some feelings.
Oh, and to be clear, in the words of one of my biggest influences, Natalie Wynn, this is a super fucking vulnerable moment for me.
Just, you know, FYI. Be gentle in the comments (though honest feedback is, of course, always welcome).
*Deep breath*
Fuck it. Let’s do this.
*Record Scratch*. You thought the article would just keep going from there? It’s clearly your first time here. Thank you so much for reading. You’re very welcome. Don’t worry there’s only this and one more interruption before we get back to the main flow. Probably.
OK. So when we do the ADHD paralysis bit, it’s going to be in the form of written montage. Which I’m like 85% sure is a thing you can do.
It’s going to be short snippets or tableaux.*** Little scenes that paint a picture. No clear through line whatsoever.****
So, time is going to get a little wobbly. Maybe even a little squirrelly. These scenes are going to be about mood rather than narrative (which you would have totally gotten. You’re smart {as well as sooooo beautiful} and it’s not that deep).
But, I also do this for a second important reason. Because ADHD Paralysis, for me, has a friend it always comes to the party with.
And that friends name is Time Blindness.
Hold onto all your loose bits! It’s time for a brief introduction to Time Blindness. This one goes out to all my ADHD homies.
I am reliably informed by various scientists that time is generally uniform.*****
By which, I mean that it is generally agreed that each minute has 60 seconds. Each hour has 60 minutes. Each decade has 87,600 hours (which seems crazy low to me intuitively but Google is adamant).
Time, for all extents and purposes, moves at a constant speed.
Not for me. And not for a lot of neurodivergents.
In their excellent ADHD Symptom Spotlight, Very Well Mind give a very usable definition of Time Blindness:
Time blindness is the inability to sense the passing of time and it can make nearly every aspect of a person’s life more difficult. The important thing to understand is that it’s more like a sensory issue, not an intentional disregard for time.
Time Blindness is 100% going to get its own ‘Understand Autism/ADHD article’ where we really dig into it, so I’m going to choose not to tread on my own future toes at this time.
So for now, the important thing to know is that many neurodivergent folks struggle to track time. Those with ADHD in particular (as far as I understand these things).
Time compresses and expands. It gets lost in the shuffle. Hours can disappear in an instant. Seconds can last eternities. Days can disappear.
If I’m being super honest, weeks and months can sail by.
That’s enough, right? I linked the article that actually gives the information, so I feel like that counts? You can ask for reassurance midway through an interruption of an article you’re 50% certain you won’t publish, right? Sure.
OK. Enough.
Let’s actually do this.
An ADHD Paralysis Presentation
I wake up. I fall asleep. I wake up. I fall asleep. I wake up. I fall asleep. This time it was 15 minutes. Last time it was 3 days. I wake up.
I haven’t eaten. I can feel my stomach tensing. It’s screaming at me. I haven’t eaten in the best part of a day. I’m really sorry. I can’t feed you right now. I don’t know how.
I’ve been staring at my computer for hours. I think. It feels like hours. I look in my drafts. All my own ideas sound foreign to me. I can’t write about parenting. I can’t even make toast. The words are just gone. I don’t have a voice. I miss having a voice.
Wait, what was I doing? Was I working? Was I chatting to someone? Shit, I don’t remember. It’s fine. I’ll just
I can feel my bed slowly absorbing me. I don’t know if I want it to.
*ding*
My phone is going off repeatedly. It’s my friends. It’s my family. It’s help. I can’t answer it. No, come on dickhead, you need help. Talk to them! They’re right there! Just pick up the phone! All you have to do is pick up the phone and talk to them and then
The pizza just arrived. I can’t believe I ordered it. I’m trying to get well but I couldn’t work out how to cook. It felt like the only possible option. It was the only possible option, right? I open the box. I don’t eat it. It’s just impossible.
Wait. Have I been on Colonist.io for 14 hours? Shit, wait! I’m winning! This is fun! This is
This is something. I forget. Wait, what is it I’m doing? I’m late. I’m late for something. I can feel it. What is it? God, I hope it’s nothing important. It must be right? Otherwise I wouldn’t be so worried. GOD. WHAT IS IT? What am I forgetting? Oh, that’s it! It’s
I fall asleep. I wake up. I fall asleep. I wake up. I fall asleep. I wake up. Somehow with each nap I become even more exhausted.
*ring ring*
Oh God, who’s that?! An unknown number??? I can’t. I just can’t.
If I just make a to-do list, it’ll all be fine.
*looks at notepad and taps pen incessantly*
What do I need to do again? That’s right! It’s
I just feel so flat. So low. Like one of those flat fish at the bottom of the ocean. A bottom feeder. That’s probably harsh. I’m probably a cute bottom feeder. Like a flounder. Under the sea. I miss my steel drum friends. I miss my English friends. They all live in my phone. My phone! God, my phone is so scary right now.
How come all I can do is play stupid idle games on my phone? How come I’m so out of control of my dopamine levels that I spend hours watching arbitrary numbers go up as I click on a game that essentially plays itself? It is pretty fucking good when the numbers go up though. Especially when they’re made up numbers like 80ad or 174ae. Maybe this isn’t so
Bad. I just feel bad. I can’t be expected to do anything when I feel so bad, can I? That wouldn’t be what anyone would want, surely?
Surely this will be over soon. Surely my brain will kick back in. It always has before. Eventually. It has to. It has to stop, right?
It has to stop.
It has to stop.
It just really has to stop.
Please stop it, brain. I don’t think I can do dysfunction much more.
Please stop it, brain. This is hurting us both.
Please stop it.
Please.
It’s fine. I’ll just make a to-do list. It’ll all be fine.
It has to fine.
It’ll be fine.
Please. Please someone tell me it’ll be fine.
Please say it’ll be fine.
Please.
And exhale.
My most recent therapist says that a good way to process big feelings is to close your eyes, put one hand in the centre of your chest and another on your stomach. Then you breathe in for 3 beats through your nose and out through your mouth for 6 beats. While you do this you’re supposed to be mindful of what your body feels like.
So, in through your nose. One. Two. Three. And out through your mouth. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. How do you feel? Hopefully…
All calm. All good. All safe.
Originally I thought about wrapping things up here. Make this an article of ‘Understanding Autism/ADHD’ about how ADHD paralysis and/or Time Blindness feel. But that didn’t feel right. Honestly, that didn’t feel like what I actually wanted and/or want to say. Honestly, it didn’t feel like saying enough.
What I actually want to say is that I wish it was normal to be inconsistent. To have periods where fucking demons like ADHD Paralysis or chronic pain are just on top of you.
What I actually want to say is that I wish it was normal to be the sort of person who comes and goes from social situations.
What I actually want to say is that I wish it was normal to be incapable of things you are often capable of on a cyclical and/or random basis.
What I actually want is space to be a thoroughly mediocre version of myself because life’s actually quite hard right now.
Because, here’s the thing. Right now, I don’t think it is normal to be inconsistent.
And there’s so many ways people are inconsistent that to not act like that’s the case is at best very silly and at worst active ableism.
Things I’d love to be normal — Consistent Inconsistency
Folks! Good news! This time it only took me 2,000 words to start the article! That’s like 1,000 ahead of normal! I think we can call that genuine progress! Woop woop!
It feels like you hear people talk about the important of being consistent all the bloody time. Here are some places I hear it regularly.
- “A true friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else.” — Len Wein. You hear this a whole lot. You know who your friends are because they are always there in a crisis.
- YouTubers consistently apologise for inconsistent uploads. Their grindset is that they have to upload regularly otherwise they aren’t good YouTubers, or they don’t care about their community or they are letting themselves down. Something I definitely don’t relate to as a writer.
- There are 1,000,000 LinkedIn-style business articles about the importance of consistency. Like this and this and this and countless more besides. Every professional resource highlights the important of consistency.
- And it’s not just in the office. It’s also in the bedroom. You can find an equal number of articles suggesting how important it is to be consistent in love. So. Many. Articles.*******
- We also can’t forget about self care. Consistency is the key to effective self care!
And I get what all these articles are getting at by and large. If you do good things consistently then you will consistently improve your life. I also tend to agree that consistency tends to foster positive momentum in a person’s life that can be massively useful in a number of areas, including but not limited to, self-care, your professional life, and even with the person(s) you love.
I get all that. I agree. Consistency is good.
If you can do it.
The fundamental misconception I think being made here is that being consistent is a choice everyone can always make.
I do not fundamentally believe that people can always choose to be consistent. I actually think it’s more likely that some people are literally incapable of being consistent. I might even think that I’m one of them.
Because there are myriad reasons that you could be incapable of consistency, right? Or, in other words, there are lots of ways that you might find it difficult or impossible to be consistent in any/all areas of your life. Off the top of my head, I’d say some reasons for this could be:
- ADHD
- Autism
- Bipolar Disorder
- Anything ending in ’algia
- Migraines
- Tourettes
- Chronic Pain
- Endometriosis
- Menopause
- Other Mental and/or Physical Disability
- Diarrhea
- Constipation
- Periods and the other delights of the menstrual cycle
- Amputations
- Pregnancy
- Old age
- Baby brain
- Addiction
- Being a teenager
- Being a child
- Mood swings
- Seasonal Affective Disorder
- Diabetes
- Grief
- Trauma
- Being triggered
- Abusive behaviour in your life
- Brain fog
- Long COVID
- Needing to parent
- Being (even comparatively) poor or low-income
- Fatigue
- Dental issues
- Your boss being a bell-end
I could go on. It’s a big ol’ list.
And as I look through that list, I start to think about my friends, family, acquaintances and other assorted loved ones. I honestly don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t identify with at least one of those categories listed above. In fact, I actually think most of the people I’m close to would tend to identify with multiple categories.
I myself think I fit comfortably into between 4 and 9 categories on any given day.
I think any one of these things would, or at least could, give the average person more than enough reason to be somewhat inconsistent during large swathes of their life.
So, just to hammer my point home. I believe both that:
- The average person is consistently told to be consistent. Or, maybe more accurately, the average person is told they should be consistent. Or, at least, as consistent as possible.
- The average has more than enough reason(s) to not be consistent.
- I know personally how big and scary these reasons to not be consistent can be, as we saw in An ADHD Paralysis Presentation above.
So how do we synthesise that information culturally?
Do we acknowledge that, whilst the goal might be consistency in a range of important areas in life, it might be difficult or impossible to achieve? Do we acknowledge the very normal and usual limitations life places on all of us and recognise the impact that that has on our ability to be consistent? Do we cut ourselves slack when we are prevented from being as consistent as we’d like to be?
Do we fuck.
You know what I hear all the time? Things like:
- ‘I’m sorry I didn’t respond to you sooner’ (even though it’s been like 4 hours since I sent a largely inconsequential text)
- ‘I need to go to the gym more’ (even though they’ve been busy and/or sick and/or are parents)
- ‘I need to get out more often’ (even though they’re neurodivergent and it’s kicking their ass this week)
- ‘I need to eat healthy meals every day’ (even though cooking is time consuming, expensive
- ‘I should have been there’ (even though the event was expensive, it was raining and your Crohns is flaring up)
- ‘I need to stop smoking’ (even though the inlaws are visiting, your boss is a prick and you just got really big news)
In my circles, my people are constantly apologising for not being more consistent.
Which I understand.
Because here’s the thing. I think the prevailing hidden assumption is that we all should be more consistent. Not that it would be good if possible. But we absolutely should. We should eat three homecooked meals every day. We should go to the gym 3 times a week every week without exception. We should text out friends and family back within 2 hours at all times. And, most importantly we should do these things consistently without fail.
The people that know me know that I really hate the word ‘should’. I think that too often people (myself included) find themselves doing things that don’t benefit because of a vague societal obligation. You know, because they should. I genuinely think that ‘you should do it’ is literally no reason to do anything at all. It’s something you say when you don’t have a real reason.
The few cases I use the word ‘should’ that are always true
- You should be kind to yourselves and others.
- You should always look where you’re going.
- You should seek joy.
- You should do no harm if possible.
Thus ends the list.
OK, so let’s look at what I’ve tried to explain so far.
- It is good for people to be consistent if possible.
- There are numerous very good and real reasons people can’t be consistent.
- The reasons people can be inconsistent can be huge aspects of their life. Big, scary, dominant aspects of their life.
- People feel like they should be consistent at all times in all ways.********
- People feel they should be consistent for vague societal reasons.
This is what I like to call a Misery Factory.
A Misery Factory is a situation that will inevitably crank out bad feelings and misery forever. It’s a situation that creates human suffering over and over and over again with startling regularity.
Some common and/or notable Misery Factories include:
- The whole American 2nd Amendment situation
- The vast majority of two party political systems
- Brexit
- Being an immigrant in a xenophobic country
- Suggesting polyamory to someone vehemently monogamous
- Grindr
- Doing your taxes (as opposed to paying taxes, which is, of course, awesome. Let’s pay those nurses.)
- Fractious custody battles
- Dealing with ineffective doctors
- Waiting lists that sprawl off into eternity
- The car that continually breaks down
You get. Misery factories are situations that will always create bad feelings, bad outcomes and bad vibes. No matter how well you navigate or operate them.
And I think the whole ‘pressure to be consistent when humans are inherently inconsistent’ situation is a classic Misery Factory.
But, dear reader, fear not.
Because yes, admittedly, lots of Misery Factories are definitely beyond our individual power(s) to change. Misery Factories are often (if not usually) huge systemic problems we can barely affect. But today’s issue of consistent inconsistency is a Misery Factory we can very much demolish. And it’s not even that hard (to my mind at least).
The way we tear down the Misery Factory of ‘feeling like you have to be consistent when people just factually aren’t’ is actually really really simple in practice.
We just have to collectively agree that it’s OK for people to be inconsistent.
Or, in both other words and the interest of building this article series’ brand, I’d love for it to be normal for people to be consistently inconsistent.
I want to be clear what I don’t mean by this. I don’t mean that it is bad for folks to be consistent. I don’t think we should aim for inconsistency. Kids need to eat. People need to work. Houses need to be cleaned.
I think of this issue as somewhat akin to the recent broader cultural discussions of the differences between body positivity and body neutrality.
So, for a while, the general culture at large promoted the idea of body positivity, with the idea being that you should love your body at all times, almost unconditionally. That movement, while well intentioned, often had the opposite effect of its goal for what can only be described as ‘people’. So recently, a body neutrality movement has emerged, a something like an evolution of or alternative to the body positivity movement. The new idea being that instead of loving your body, it just is what it is. You have a body. You don’t have to have any thoughts about it, positive or negative. Your body simply is.
I believe that the issue of being consistently inconsistent is exactly the same. I am not claiming it is good or bad to be consistent or inconsistent in any given part of life. No. What I’m claiming is that people are generally inconsistent. It just is what it is. You are most likely inconsistent, or, at the very least, prone to inconsistency. You don’t have to have any thoughts about it, positive or negative. Your inconsistency simply is.
Shit, this sounds like the sort of thing that should have a name. Ummm, OK. I call this The Inconsistency Inevitability. That sounds like I didn’t just make it up on the fly, right?
So, you might ask, if we were to choose to believe in (or acknowledge the truth of, if I could be so bold) The Inconsistency Inevitability, what might change? What actually changes if it becomes normal to consistently inconsistent?
Well…
Maybe we don’t point out when folks gain weight, even if they’re trying to lose it.
Maybe we don’t guilt-trip a friend for cancelling plans because they probably have good reasons for doing so.
Maybe we’re patient with the colleague who said they were going to hit a deadline but they’re clearly overwhelmed.
Maybe we don’t take it personally when folks say they’re too busy to see us. Who knows what they’re busy with, right?
Maybe we accept that some friends will come in and out of our lives and that will kind of be what it is.
Maybe we don’t criticise or highlight the pack of cigarettes your friend bought because this week has just been so fucking much. They’re clearing going through something.
Maybe we start to think about our lives as cyclical, or going through phases with high productivity times and low productivity times.
Maybe we don’t ever use the word ‘flake’ (outside of ice cream contexts).
Maybe we don’t make judgements about people being lazy or unproductive when they show signs of inevitable inconsistency.
Maybe we don’t boo the footballer who doesn’t score for a few games. Because I can’t imagine that helps.
Maybe we continue to love artists of all types who ‘fell off’ in their recent albums. Or whose writing is becoming dangerous experimental and inaccessible. You know, in theory.
Maybe we accept that some people can grind things out daily while others are productive when they’re productive.
Maybe we’re kind to our inconsistent friends.
Maybe we’re just happy about the times our inconsistent friends can make it, rather than relitigating when they couldn’t.
Maybe we forgive ourselves for being inconsistent most, if not all, of the time.
Maybe we stop fighting our nature.
Maybe we can just accept The Inconsistency Inevitability.
And maybe that’s OK! Or good even? Yeah, good!
Maybe, and this is controversial for sure, we could just be kind to ourselves. All the time. Just like, as a rule. Huh?
Maybe, we could just be totally OK existing as and with inconsistent humans.
Maybe, just maybe, we could all agree that it’s totally normal to be consistently inconsistent.
Personally, I think that would be rad. No. It’s better than that. I actually think it would be hella rad. Basically tubular. Dare I say, it would be pretty freaking sweet, dude.
Or, at least, I think it would be.
A Coda
So, this was a lot. I know it. You know it. Thanks for reading and any necessary apologies are absolutely offered now*********
Before I tell you to like, share and subscribe and all that good stuff, there’s one thing I want to add to this collection of ravings. And that’s why I think explaining things like this is worth doing. Because I do get asked occasionally. And I try to answer your questions. I’m working on the second edition of Matt’s Mailbag as we speak.
Anyhow, there’s a meme I like that floats around the Internet in perpetual semi-virality. It’s this one:
This excellent meme/tweet says something very true in my opinion, as well as something entirely relatable.
I spent all of my youth********** feeling like I didn’t fit in. Like, at all. I thought that’s how everyone felt. Like it was just something we all knew but just didn’t talk about. Like a fart in an elevator. It sucks but we don’t acknowledge it. It’s just one of those things.
It was therefore a massive relief and quite the surprise to find out that the differences and distances I felt to others all those years were both totally real and totally normal. I was an autistic zebra, not a horse doing it all wrong. And that was both really validating AND a massive relief. It might seem a touch dramatic, but it genuinely felt like I breathed my first honest breath at 32.*********** It felt IN. CRED. I. BLE.
And I’m wondering if we can pull something similar off here?
Because I suspect a lot of my friends and family feel like that they should be more consistent in their lives. I suspect this because many of them have told me this directly.************
So it would be great if we do some zebra spotting, right?
Because I don’t think that most people who feel like they can never be as consistent as they’re expecting or hoping to be are strange horses. I think that the people who aren’t consistent in that way are actually kick-ass zebras. I’m definitely an inconsistent zebra. And that just is what it is. To complain would be as if I were fighting the wind or the Sun. Funny to watch and tragically ineffective.
I’m going to be bold here.
Furthermore I think that actually… there aren’t any horses.*************
OK, I’m sure there are some. Like, just statistically there are like half a dozen people consistently making all the right choices. Probably. Maybe.
But, honestly, I think we’re basically all zebras. We all have fallow periods. We all need to recover. We all get diarrhea. We’re all inconsistent. Consistently inconsistent, fact. And that just is what it is. To fight it would be madness.
So the reason I wrote this is because I’m trying to build a rad community of zebras. And I’d love you to be a part of it. Whatever that looks like. Probably smashing that like button, right? That’s how these parasocial things tend to go I think…
How are you, by the way? I didn’t even ask. I just got caught in whatever info-dump I needed to get out and starting blabbering on as if I’m some philosopher of life and then, well, you know, blah blah blah blah blah. Look, I’m doing it now. That’s so me, right?
I mean I guess if I stop for your response the article would just end abruptly. Which might be a bit unsettling and we’ve been quite weird today as it is. Oooo I know! I’ll leave some space after this paragraph for your response. To show I’m leaving space for your answer (even if I can’t hear it!). OK, let’s do that. Your turn. What’s going on with you?
Wow! What a story! You’ve got such a fun approach concerning your work problems, personal stories and observations. Thank you for sharing.
Wait! Comments! You could say hi in the comments! Yes, do that. I imagine that would have quite a positive effect on the author as well as boost his ranking in the Medium algorithm he is currently sucking up to.
Future Matt here — Normally I edit this kind of stream of conscience stuff out, but this one seems kinda cute to me. Because Past Matt genuinely couldn’t work out how to communicate with his readers and tried to engineer it from scratch, eventually discovering the concept of ‘comments’ for himself mid-thought. And that’s so him. If you knew him, you’d think it was funny. Classic Past Matt. Anyway, he’ll see you the rest of the way. Take care.
We are all a mediocre version of ourselves sometimes. We’re all a bit meh on occasion. We are all completely and beautifully consistently inconsistent. We’re all zebras.
And I think we should all just think and know that that’s normal.
And act accordingly.
You know, if you’d like.
Until next time lovelies. Thanks for reading. Talk soon.
Matt McKenna is genuinely trying to be a writer despite and because of what you’ve read today. Thanks so much for reading it. That’s genuinely super cool of you.
Past Matt was right. It would mean the world to have you comment, like, follow and share this or any of my work. I write about neurodivergence, parenting and other assorted nonsense. I’d be thrilled if you checked it out.
I do actually hope you’re doing well today. You definitely look it. Stay safe out there.
* And I am massively grateful for every single one of you. You’re all excellent.
** And, you know, I massively care about my readers. But I’d never say that because I’m trying to be this cool, edgy writer type. For what it’s worth, I’m not convinced that it’s going particularly well…
*** You know, if you’re the sort of person who likes people to know you went to University. Like I did.
**** Yes, telling you exactly what I’m going to write is potentially the most autistic way I could choose to do this. And yes, that makes me ludicrously happy to do.
***** Hello physicists. I’m fully aware that time dilates and stuff as you approach light speed or something, but, here’s the thing. I have an arts degree. In theology. Any attempt by me to explain this topic will only lead me to completely embarrassing myself on the Internet (which I’d rather avoid). So, if you could very politely ignore this well meaning inaccuracy, I’d be forever in your doubt. You’re the best.
****** Aurtistic (def): A blend of artistic and artistic. Good examples might be really well organised Legos, colouring within the lines or really really nerdy wordplay. It is what I aim to be and do.
******* The title of the link, ‘A Man That Shows A Women Consistency Will Never Have To Be Worry About Her Loyalty’, is offensive to my sensibilities in at like 5 different ways just off the top of my head. Total nonsense.
******** Phrased another way, you could also say that ‘people feel like they have to be consistent’.
********* You might be thinking, ‘Wait. What is he apologising for?’. You might not know this, but I’m English. And in England, we apologise almost as much as the Canadians. This move I call the ‘I’ll apologise just in case because judging how I affect emotions is a skill I don’t excel at’. You know, just in case. Admittedly the title needs work. Sorry.
********** Wow. I was definitely ‘feeling the drama’ when I wrote this. Feel free to sub in ‘until my early 30s’ if you can’t deal with someone being this extra.
*********** It also happened to unravel my psyche for a while here, but we really don’t have time to get into it now. I mean… I did forget how to talk for a bit. Which was notable. Don’t worry, that tale will be told.
************ The Matt McKenna: Autistic Detective series is currently in development at a lower tier streaming service. I want to say Quibi?
************* See! H Bomberguy was right!
