A Demented Mind Fuck Of Heart Pounding Terror.

His eyes fly open as the clock strikes 2, darkness surrounds him. Confused and dazed, he looks around the room for anything that would have disturbed him from his sleep …and then he found it.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

It’s coming from behind him, which should be impossible considering he’s lying in bed and the only thing behind him is the wall and window.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Spinning around, twisted between the covers that kept him warm, he slowly opens the curtain to peek outside to nothing but the back porch light shining into the darkness.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

There it is again. Right beneath the same window he’s looking out of. His mind immediately racing to his wife, his daughter, his son and whether they’re safely in bed sleeping.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Determined to figure it out, his heart racing 90 to nothing, he throws open the curtain and lifts the window open in one single motion.

Beneath him are two dogs, one on either side of the window. Tan and dirty with nothing but the side of the house to protect them from the cool night breeze.

Tap. Tap. Tap. The sound of their tail wagging, gently hitting the side of the house.

Considerably calmer, he looks at them closer in hopes of recognition. Maybe, just maybe they belong to someone he knows.

But he can’t. The malnourished look of skin and bone is all he sees.

Leaning out, he pounds his fist against the side of the house to try to scare them away when from beside him a woman calls out, “What are you doing?”.

Looking to the left, his wife is looking at him with a stern look of frustration. Explaining to her about the dogs and how he was trying to scare them off, she rolls over to go back to sleep saying “they’ve been there for a while”.

Confused, he looks out the window again to a slightly lighter day. No later than just before dawn with the sun playing peekaboo behind the hillside.

But there’s more. Much more.

There’s no more houses, just a flat grassy plain as far as the eye can see. A shed appears no more than 30 feet away with a man, dressed in a suit holding a dark black cat above his head.

He looks on as the stranger opens his mouth wide reminding him of a snake swallowing its prey. Dropping the cat into his mouth and snapping it shut as blood splashes across the shed.

He watches as it unfolds, his heart racing as he feels his eyes trying to claw their way out of his skull until the man slowly starts to turn his head in his direction…

Before he can see his face though, his eyes fly open as the clock strikes 2, darkness surrounds him. Confused and dazed, he looks around the room for anything that would have disturbed him from his sleep …and then he found it.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Publishers Note:

What you just read is a recurring dream that happened multiple times a night, creating an endless of loop for damn near 3 months of my life. When I would finally wake up, my heart would be racing, I would be covered in sweat, and terrified. It’s crazy, and potentially embarrassing, but alas, tis true. But, to make things worse, I started dreading going to bed and falling asleep because I just knew, with no doubt in my mind, they would be back.

This isn’t my first dream like this either. It’s my first to these exact details, but I frequently have nightmares and dreams that last for weeks, months, and in one case an entire year. It’s just a fact I’ve accepted and flipped a positive spin on. It’s also what spurred my fascination into psychology of all areas, but most notably the interpretation of dreams.

It sounds crazy, but they usually appear when I’m having a problem with myself, my circumstances, or someone in my life and I’m ignorant as to the cause. They come to me as a type of self-preservation of my sanity and only when it’s enough of a problem that it will send me into a dark path of my own. The plus side about this is, once I discover the meaning and problems behind it, the nightmares stop all together and my mind is able to rest and address the issue at hand.

For this particular story, it took me quite a bit longer to analyze and understand the meaning behind it. Part of it was the terror I felt when thinking about it, part of it was because by most typical standards, my life is great. I’m happily married, the only financial issues I face is debt that’s slowly being paid off, and my business is growing every day. I’m growing psychologically, physically, and even emotionally. My relationships with my kids, wife, friends, and family are all growing deeper every single day. There was nothing really obvious that I was having any kind of issue or crisis to anyone, especially to myself.

Apparently, my subconscious seemed to think so though or it wouldn’t be so dead set on showing this to me every single night for three months straight. Until last night. 
Yesterday, I finally faced up to the terror and really focused on finding out what it meant. So I typed up the story you just read and keyed in on the most notable aspects of what was scaring me about the dream itself.

I won’t go into full blown specifics here. In a nutshell though, it was addressing a fear I thought I happened to be over, but wasn’t.

I have this major fear of failing and conformity. I’ve always went against the grain of what can be considered “normal” and in doing so, I would rise higher up than if I was to conform to basic standards. Even in my business, I do things and approach shit differently than everyone else. To say I’m an acquired taste is an understatement.

Well the past 6 months or so I’ve been trying to do shit like other people, who are completely different from myself. I ended up being pissed off, frustrated, and upset because no matter what I did, it wasn’t working like they “said” it would. What essentially was happening is I played to my weaknesses and how everyone said I should be rather than my true self and strengths.

It was pretty shitty actually. I looked at all these people who were more successful than I am and tried to do what they said I “should” be doing and every single time it would fail, or it would take me farther away from myself and what I stand for. I let the fear of financial failure get in the way of my personal success.

I would focus on the things that wasn’t happening in my life, like a consistent schedule or uninterrupted work time and looked at it as myself being held back from what I wanted to achieve when in reality, what was happening was my mindset of getting held back being the root cause. I would spend more time and energy trying to have this whole system and process in place like the big guns say I should rather than what worked for me.

It took me quite a bit of time to fully realize that this isn’t me. I went against what I wanted with my business and my life because somebody else said that I should be doing this way or that way instead.

It was a pretty ground breaking revelation that will drastically change things in the coming months, that will put me on track to a faster growth than if I was to do it the way they wanted me to.

People don’t follow corporate B.S. and fake assholes. They follow those who are consistently walking their own path in life and what works for them. If you truly want to be a legend and a leader and change lives, then be true to yourself and you’ll attract the same kind of people who believe in you and your mission. Otherwise, you’ll be experiencing a nightmare of your own…