Why do I have to change the font every single time I start a new paragraph? Is it me or is it you? Let’s work this out, because between the licking and the font changing…
Lots of ellipses tonight. Although I don’t know if I’m technically using them correctly.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Happiness and purpose. So I found myself with my purpose. I discovered “what” I am. Directing brings me more happiness than any one task or job I’ve ever done. Preparing to direct and learning how to direct better heap more and more onto the pile of happiness.
About a year and a half ago, I somehow lost that sense of purpose and got all wrapped up in accumulating “things,” and I formulated in my mind a manufactured happiness. Couple that with the end of a relationship and I was, for lack of (just kidding, for fear of using) a scarier word, UNhappy. I was lost. Distraught. Stare at the ceiling laying in bed all morning and get hammer time on the couch every night kinda distraught. I watched a lot of movies to the tune of 2/3 a bottle of gin per night and therefore don’t remember ANY of those movies. ’Twas messy. I got squishy, angry, mean and dark. I caught a cold every two weeks, ate Taco Bell or McDonald’s every two days, and went to the gym only to find my belly was growing big enough to get in the way of training I used to do with ease.
But directing. It was always there, in the back of my mind, and I started getting the good kind of pressure from friends and family who were eager to see a new season of Platonic. It was October of 2016 at this point, and I had actually written the crowd funding promo script (that eventually will premiere as the first episode of season two) nearly a year and a half prior. I had put it off and put it off for over a year out of fear of how much I knew a crowd funding campaign would cost, and I just wasn’t willing to put in the effort or the investment. $300-$400 a month in booze, though…solid distribution of funds. So, in a momentary moment of clarity I decided to email the cast and crew a shoot date and see if they were available. Everyone was.
Being back on set was magical. Working with some of the most talented and hilarious actors and comedians simply brings out the best in an artist. They truly made my job easy. The magic was back- the happy was back! The shoot went off without a hitch, we captured some great moments, and I went back to my house, settled into the lonely, and got good and drunk. Bye magic. Bye happy. I was taking a willing trip on the sad train to forgetfultown.
Don’t worry, though. I didn’t know it yet, but that night would have a profound effect on the course of my life.
Licking dog is now snoring dog, so that’s my cue. Catch up with you all tomorrow.
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