Hatin’ on the Classics
While the band and I were in Columbia, South Carolina a couple of weeks ago, we found ourselves with some time to kill prior to soundcheck. We walked over to grab some dinner at Cafe Strudel (which, is totally worth checking out if you happen to find yourself in Columbia, SC) and stumbled on a pretty interesting conversation.
The Question: Which records, deemed “essential” or ”classics”, do you hate?
It’s an interesting question, right?
It’s a question in which we all fumbled around, racking our brains to come up with an answer. I had records I never quite connected with, but could still understand why they were considered classics (any Bowie record) and then there were also the records that are great (Nevermind, Ten, Dark Side of the Moon, etc.), but I have had more than had my fill of them…but hate? The word hate suggests a loathing and resentment, bordering on unlistenable and for that, I didn’t really have an immediate answer.
I have spent some more time thinking about the question and debate we had over that pre-show dinner in Columbia, and have forced myself to come up with 10. It was actually way more difficult and uncomfortable than I imagined.
Disclaimer: I respect anyone who has the guts to put themselves and/or their art out there, regardless of the medium…I still feel wrong saying that I “hate” these records; again, hate is such a strong word. In this particular instance, maybe the phrase, “just don’t do it for me” is a better choice of words.
So without further ado here are, in no particular order…
The 10 Classic/Essential Records that Just Don’t Do It For Me
The Velvet Underground and Nico — The Velvet Underground
Ugh…I have wanted to like this record so bad. I have listened to it repeatedly, wanting something, anything to grasp on to, and while there are a few things here and there that I can appreciate, I cannot consider this record a classic. It hurt even considering Lou Reed and Velvet Underground for this list. It hurt even more actually pulling the trigger and putting them on it.
Guns n Roses — Appetite for Destruction
Appetite isn’t a bad record and did produce some classic songs; however, the handful of times I have gone back and listened to it, I have found myself skipping over numerous tracks. That’s not the mark of a classic record.
It was a perfect record for a certain time and place, but it doesn’t stand the test of time, and for that I blame Axl Rose’s vocals. The musical arrangement of rock, punk, glam and blues on Appetite is still as relevant today as it was in 1987, and while Axl’s high-pitched, Hollywood-howl played a significant part in bridging 80’s excess glam rock into the 90’s, today make the record sound as dated as the majority of their Sunset Strip counterparts.
Creedence Clearwater Revival — Chronicle Vol. 1
Creedence, oh Creedence. I mean, I’m supposed to like you, right?
You play a certain brand of, what could be considered, “Southern rock” (even though you’re from California).
I like Southern things and music.
Seems like the perfect match?
I don’t know what it is. They have a couple of songs that I somewhat enjoy, but would be 100% okay with never hearing again. I think it’s John Fogerty’s voice. Maybe? I really can’t give a good explanation for why I have never cared for this, or any other Creedence record.
Paul Simon — Graceland
Let me start by saying that I truly respect Paul Simon’s grit and determination for recording this record and going to South Africa during the period of apartheid. He put his money where his mouth was, so to speak, in doing his part to break down racial barriers, and for that I take my hat off to him.
That being said, the blend of zydeco, a cappella, and his style of folk songwriting on this record just seems a bit awkward and forced at times. I’m still open to allowing this record to grow on me, and I will continue to give it more listens, but up to this point in my life, Graceland has not done it for me.
AC/DC — Back in Black
…or just insert any AC/DC record into this slot. If a song of theirs comes on the radio, I never know which one it is until the lyrics of the chorus hit (or I hear the bell toll for “Hells Bells”). Every song sounds the same.
Admittedly, I have only listened to this record once or twice, but that’s simply because it never gave me anything that I wanted to actually go back and listen to.
Talking Heads — 77
This is another record I wanted to love. Historically, I have never been a Talking Heads fan; however, I recently listened to Marc Maron’s interview with David Byrne on the WTF Podcast, and decided, “Okay, now’s the time. I’m going to get into The Talking Heads!”
I made it through 77, but it wasn’t out of pure enjoyment. Ultimately, it was because I had committed to starting the record so felt the obligation to see it through until end. Needless to say, it did not change my opinion on The Talking Heads.
Sidenote: Is it me, or were/are The Talking Heads the art-rock band for hippie-jam-kids? I only have personal evidence for that observation, however, it never fails that the handful of people who love The Talking Heads also love Phish, Government Mule, Grateful Dead, etc.
Kiss — Destroyer
Kiss…maybe at one time their records seemed to have more vitality, were more defiant, and more mythical; but, I’m assuming that was before they were exposed as greedy businessmen in futuristic suits and clown makeup. Sorry, not sorry.
The White Stripes — Elephant
So here’s something that I constantly have to reconcile and wrangle with: I love hearing Jack White’s insights on music and his processes, whether that is through printed interviews or documentary films like, It Might Get Loud, but I have never been able to get into any of his actual music, whether it be solo, The White Stripes, or with The Raconteurs.
Elephant is a perfect example. I own the record, and if I own a record, I want to love it. Maybe I did for the first few weeks, but after that, it has been on my shelf collecting dust ever since. I haven’t even made an attempt to listen to the record on any digital format either. For those reasons, I am not able to call this record a classic.
Nine Inch Nails — The Downward Spiral
This record was everything that scared my parents about me growing up and listening to music in the 90’s. When I was in the car with my parents and “Closer” would come on the radio, I would have to change the station on the sly to avoid a complete ban from me listening to 99X (the alternative rock station at the time in Atlanta).
Because my parents were well-aware of who Nine Inch Nails were, I was not able to get my paws on The Downward Spiral album until I had grown up and moved out of the house and by then, I had missed the craze. I have gone back and listened to it a few times over the years, and it sounds like a great 90’s industrial rock record, but unfortunately, it was not allowed to speak to me then, and therefore, does not really speak to me now.
Sidenote: What’s more scary: Nine Inch Nails’ The Downward Spiral or the mullet Trent Reznor was rocking during his Beats Music pressers a few years back?
Arcade Fire — The Funeral
At this point, I think it is way too early to call any of The Arcade Fire albums classics. We still do not know how they will hold up over time.
Arcade Fire is a band doing interesting things, but there are moments and songs on the record where they become a little too self-indulgent.
I’m excited to see where Arcade Fire go next and what the future holds for them; however, I just don’t see The Funeral as a classic album….yet.
So there they are.
In all honesty, this week’s post was not my favorite to write. I think at the end of it, I realized that I would much rather focus on the positives and things that I like; but, as I mentioned in the opening, I was intrigued by the question and curious to see where pondering it would take me.
The Answer: A place and mindset I don’t particularly like being at or in.