Living the Truth

July 22, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

We are so grateful for you. You have enriched our lives in countless ways. Thank you.

Now we have some news to share. We know it may be surprising and difficult for some of you to hear and process, so we want you to hear it directly from us.

Matt has come to a pivotal decision that has major implications for our family. After a lifetime of struggling to live as a straight man, he is finally choosing to live authentically as an openly gay man. This means that our marriage is ending after 22 years together.

Matt has known he was gay since he was ten years old. Believing this was wrong, and hoping he could be healed, he followed his dream of marrying a woman, having children and working in vocational ministry. Fourteen years ago, after eight years of marriage, Matt chose to be real with himself and God, and he told the truth to Luanne, along with some close friends and church leaders. This was a very painful time, but we both were committed to our marriage, to our family and to walking this journey together. Years of “ex-gay” therapy, marriage counseling, healing prayer, workshops, books, journaling, retreats, accountability and recovery groups did not have the desired and promised outcome.

We are confident that we have done everything possible to make our marriage thrive, but we now understand that Matt always has been and always will be gay. This is a part of his identity, not an “issue” that he struggles with. And we have come to accept it as normal and healthy for him.

The love and joy that you see in our family is very real. We respect and care for each other. We enjoy each other and genuinely desire the best for each other. Our commitment to each other’s well-being is stronger than ever as we walk through this as a family. We are confident that our family will continue to grow and thrive, perhaps even more truly now that we are choosing to live authentically.

We are committed to having the most loving, caring transition possible. Our kids are understanding and supportive. They are sad for the inevitable changes in their lives, but they believe, as we do, that this change will ultimately prove to be life giving for all of us.

Thank you for your prayers and love as we commit to living the truth.

Matt and Luanne