Birthday Reflection — 5 life lessons I’ve learned in my first 27 years
I wanted to do something different this year to celebrate my birthday. Instead of going out and getting rip roaring drunk for the occasion, only to regret it at work today, I wanted to take some time to reflect about all that I have learned throughout my 27 years.
In my 27 years, I‘ve experienced several wins and even more defeats. From being acknowledged in major publications, to almost losing everything through a series of bad decisions. I quit a comfortable corporate job only to start from the bottom with a start up company and an unproven team. I’ve had my heart broken and broken many hearts, only to fall in love with the light of my life.
I want to share with you 5 key lessons I’ve learned during my time here, in hopes you can, in some way, apply it to your own life.
1. Call your grandparents
My last living grandparent is my grandmother who just happened to turn 92 on April 1st. I was not fortunate enough to be close to her when I was growing up. We would only happen to be with each other a few days a year.
She is now confined to an assistive living community in NJ and is lucky if she can walk 100 steps throughout the day. Her eyes are failing her and with that goes her ability to read, which is her favorite hobby.
Every time I call my grandma I know that I am making her day. It’s amusing to me because we have the same 6 minute conversation every time. I’m not sure when our last will be but I know it’s inevitable, and that’s life. She tells me how proud she is of my family, of me, and can’t wait to see me the next time I visit. She tells me she loves me and then says she has to go, repeating that she loves me, and is proud of me again. She hangs up with me just to sit in isolation in a room full of people like herself living on borrowed time. It’s bittersweet, but I can take comfort in knowing she was once my age and lived a long full life. Time will creep up on us all.
If you take one thing out of this post, please call your grandparents to catch up. While you’re at it you might as well call your parents, too.
2. You will grow by escaping your comfort zone
Fear is the only thing that holds us back from what we want out of life. The fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, or whatever it may be often deters us from reaching our goals.
Doing the “scary” things is how we get anywhere and grow as individuals. The times I’ve been able to build self-confidence and grow as a person has been when I’ve done things that I thought were scary, namely getting out of my comfort zone and being exposed to new challenges, people, and places.
Facing my fears has greatly helped me feel more comfortable in most situations, and the more you step out of your comfort zone and learn something new, the more likely your confidence will build. This has helped me grow into a more successful person on multiple fronts.
Act on what drives your anxiety.
3. Answer your phone when old friends call
One night when I was 21 I had a call come in from a hometown friend whom I hadn’t talked to in awhile.
I didn’t pick up.
I didn’t want to deal with having a conversation with someone from my past. I was at college, telling myself I was busy and thought I had better and more important things to focus on.
Lazily I sent him text the next morning apologizing for not picking up and simply asking “whats up?”.
I never received a response.
I’m still not sure who else he called that night. I’m still not sure what was on his mind. I’m still not sure what he wanted to talk about.
Two days later I found out that he made the decision to take his life. I’m not saying I could have talked him out of what he ultimately decided to do, but I know a familiar voice would have been comforting. As I know it is comforting for me. I will always contemplate what would have happened if I picked up the phone.
We all get caught up in our own lives and our own struggles. Remind yourself that everyone around you is going through his or her own battle and there is personal comfort in making others feel good and like they matter. We all need a familiar voice once in awhile.
Pick up your phone when old friends call. You can spare 5 minutes.
Rest in peace Josh, I love you.
4. Do not strive for popularity and to be liked
Throughout my life I strived for popularity, to be liked, and to be the cool kid. I always cared about what other people thought of me. I learned later in life that this absolutely no way to live.
I learned if you strive to get everyone to like you, you will ultimately act in a way that will get negative people to like you.
In the past I have conformed my beliefs to fit in, only to regret it. I was always terrible with peer pressure. I didn’t know how to utilize the phrase “no”. After intense reflection was I finally able to realize that the only people that should like me is my family and most importantly, myself.
You have to stay true to your values and to who you are. Live up to your own expectations. Other people’s opinions of you are just noise in a crowded room. It is just there, giving you the option to tune it out if you let it. It takes practice to not care about what others think, but with any muscle you need to strain it to train it.
5. Gamify your life
It wasn’t until I read “Super Better” by Jane McGonigal, that I learned about gamifying your life.
The basic idea is that your life can be viewed as a video game. There are power ups, allies, and pitfalls during your life quest and you are the protagonist.
Every decision you make will either a) help you become the person you wish you be or b) move you further away from it.
I’m not saying every decision I make is positive. I too am hit with fits of procrastination, binge eating nail biting, and Netflix sessions. It wasn’t until I adopted this philosophy that I was able to grasp my life, and fill it with the right power ups and allies that will give me a greater chance of becoming successful.
Here are some ideas of what my daily power ups include:
1. Meditate for 10 minutes
2. Read for fun
3. Recite my incantations
4. Stretch for 10 minutes
5. Work out
6. Listen to a podcast/blink
7. Leave a person better off than when I encountered them
I know that if I seek these power ups during my life quest than it will help me with me to obtain the final prize. What is the final prize? I am still trying to figure that out. Isn’t that what makes life so beautiful?
Gamify your life and realize what are your power-ups. Once you realize the small positive actions you can take it will substantially increase your well being
Wrap it up already Matt!
I can only compare this thing called life to a roller coaster. You can only see a few feet ahead of you but you encounter the loops, twisting turns, and sudden drops. With the lows comes the highs. Your stomach churns and at times you feel like you have no control. Embrace those times that you feel most alive. Throughout my ride I like to think I have had my hands up, embracing the ride.
I’ve learned a lot during my first 27 years and am excited to experience the next 27. I’ve learned a lot while helping start Party Headphones and Eversound and am excited what their future looks like.
“Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will look back, and realize they were the big things.”