WHEN YOU WANT TO RUN (TO GET FIT) BUT DON’T LIKE IT

A lot of us have tried running. We get motivated from some source (reading an article in Men’s Health, watching YouTube videos, enjoying the summer Olympics) and decide to hit the trail only to find after a couple weeks that we really don’t have the same drive and commitment we thought we did.

Our fitness goals seem further away than we had imagined. It actually feels harder than when we started. Maybe we get a taste for how much energy it takes to make lasting change in our lives and we get discouraged.

(I used to be this guy. I’d keep at it, using as much coffee and willpower as I could, not realizing this was a bad strategy that would hinder my results in the long term.)

But we still want to get fit. There’s still that nagging feeling like we’ve got to do it, to man up. We still want to look good naked in the mirror. We still want to feel better and healthier so we can approach the day with a sense of mastery.

Remember from my last post that I wanted to run a six minute mile. I was so determined to hit it that I trained constantly. I did eventually get my time down to 6:20 which was an all time best.

So I hit my goal and yet I wasn’t satisfied. There was something inside me that was left unfulfilled even though I had done what I set out to do.

The entire time I trained I hated it. It became a chore. Not only was it a chore, it became really hard. I had to push constantly to see any progress.

When I started I was excited as most people are by the goals they set for themselves, the challenges they want to overcome. But as time passed on and I wasn’t seeing the same progress that I had at the beginning I began to get frustrated. My trainings were no longer about the excitement attached to my goal. It felt like running had turned into another boring activity that I just had to get through during the day, like washing dishes or putting gas in the car. I just wanted to cross it off the list of things to do.

My training became meaningless.

There was no purpose behind a 6 minute mile.

There was no fulfillment once I had reached my goal.

I didn’t know why I was running anymore. For the sake of getting better? So I could get my time down further? So I could outrun others on the track? To be healthier? To look better?

Why was I running?

I didn’t know anymore. That’s why I didn’t like it. That’s why I had to push so damn hard to get anywhere. And that’s why I stopped.

When a man’s actions are not in the service of his core purpose in life he feels nothing.

When he’s not able to apply a sense of deep driving purpose to his life, he’s lost.

He resorts to a mechanical, meaningless existence, not knowing why he does what he does.

I know why I run now. I’ll share more next time I post.