Butter Memo

The following memo was posted on the refrigerator at work:

TO WHOEVER IS TAKING MY BUTTER:

I HAVE BEEN BRINGING IN BUTTER FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS AND SOMEONE HAS BEEN USING IT. I BRING THIS BUTTER TO PUT ON MY BREAD WHICH I TOAST AND I DO NOT APPRECIATE ANYONE TAKING IT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. IF YOU NEED BUTTER THAT BADLY, I WILL GO TO THE GROCERY STORE AND BUY THE BUTTER AND BRING IT IN FOR YOU. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE MY BUTTER. THIS IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO ME. PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL.

LYDIA MYLES :)

I have studied this memo (I took a picture of it), given it some thought and I can only conclude that Lydia (not her real name), is going through some personal issues. This memo feels like a cry for help. She might be going through a divorce, which has caused this insecurity about the butter. I know who Lydia well enough to say hello but that’s about it. She is in her mid-forties and if she is going through a nasty divorce then perhaps this is a product of that traumatic event. Maybe her husband left her for a younger, more attractive woman (or maybe a guy) and she is reeling from the prospect of being alone. She has the children to consider and being a single mom is not the most attractive prospect. Most guys looking for an unattached woman at that age are in the market for a wham-bam type of deal an are not interested in getting mixed up with kids.

I remember one woman that I worked with, Jan, who was big into making scrapbooks. She was divorced and I would guess that the scrap booking was a way to create some sense of order in her life. She told us that she would sit down with a bottle of wine and go through her pictures and other items and place them in the albums and spend time putting things in sequential order. I have no doubt that there was crying involved at some point in this process. She actually brought one of her scrapbooks into work to show around in the breakroom. The picture that is burned into my memory was taken on the day she moved out of the house after the divorce. It is a picture of a packed station wagon in front of a large, white Victorian with two kids in the back seat. The caption under the picture read:

“The day daddy stopped loving us.”

I’d thought that parents who were separating told the kids that they were not the reason for the divorce; that it was the adults who couldn’t get along and that they both really loved the children. Mommy was supposed to say that about daddy and vice versa. The kids should still feel loved; it wasn’t their fault. Apparently, Jan did not subscribe to that notion.

“Children, daddy did not just stop loving me; he stopped loving you as well.”

So Lydia’s memo might be her way of trying to make a connection. Maybe she wants to find someone who really does need butter. She did offer to buy it for whomever is taking it. Of course, the butter would just be an excuse. Her note does vary in its tone from outright confrontational to more conciliatory. I’m not sure what to make of the smiley face at the end after the demand for respect. But don’t we all want to be liked and respected? Maybe her ex-husband did not understand that.

Maybe she just likes butter.