Ice, water, gas…
Water has three states — solid, liquid and gas. Humans can also use these states to describe their own lives. The change in these states is what helps us grow. The “change” or “transformation” is something that we all can relate to. It is a reoccurring phenomenon, just like a water cycle. Whatever goes around, comes back around. One could even depict life in a similar manner. It is believed that in case the cycle ever stops rotating, we hit a point called the paradigm shift. The old cycle breaks, reshapes, and remolds itself in order to form another cycle. Every instant of the new cycle has been part of the old one. Similarly, the present is a manifestation of past. Past is what defines or determines the verdict of present.
So far, whatever I have discussed boils down to Thomas Kuhn’s paradigm shift theory. It was a tool for scientists that they used during research. It helped them use old theories and formulas to come up with new. Through this they could look at the past and come up with new translation of previous problems. One could borrow this methodology and apply it in any field of life.
In my previous article I had shared my thoughts on the final days of college. Here I am again to discuss the transition I made — college-to-corporate. During this change, one becomes exposed to larger space. The population that surrounds you, now triples. People come in varied sizes and shapes (strictly speaking of their mind-sets). People are willing to go to any heights to leave a mark, share their story, prove their point or win an argument for that matter. On the brighter side, it is also a place where people learn, develop and grow. It is a place where people work together to solve real-life problems. It clearly resonates with the saying “life is a struggle.”
Now that we have established the present scenario of my life. It is time to anticipate what is in store for me in the future. The first thing that crosses my mind is — fear. Fears are barriers that we are expected to cross. One has to get their hands dirty in order to make a successful pass. There are days when I am glued to my chair, staring in to my laptop screen. I just stare until the words fade out. My eyes become watery and my mind wanders off to another planet. Everything is hazy. Certain questions that pop up…
Am I at the right place? Learning the right things? Will my future be brighter? Do I belong to this place? ….
Imagine a set of concentric circles. Right now, I feel like am hoping to a bigger circle each day. What I fear is coming back to the center point. A point from where you see everything but you can’t move. I feel college was one such place. Where you were taught things but you could never practice anything practically. That is the solid state, where you can’t move. Atoms are full of energy and in continuous motion. They bounce from one wall to the other, some people get exhausted. I personally found it difficult to drag myself to the classrooms. Towards the end of my final year, I preferred staying in bed. This made me lethargic, slow and foolish. My mind was rusting away and I had become cold. Like an ice.
Once college ended, I moved to a new city. I got a new house to live in. New set of friends (actually a hybrid version — there were new and old). This helped me melt down a little. It was important to flow like a water and mingle with people. It was necessary to talk to people around me. It was difficult to summon up the strength to get up and ask those silly (but important) questions. It was obvious that people were constantly looking and analyzing my behavior. They were judging and trying to make sense of what I am really about. This is when I began to think before each and everything thing I did. I was careful in my speech and body language. I over-analyzed and thought 100 times before doing any deed. It got frustrating. Even as a teenager I had high self-esteem, and rarely cared about what people thought of me. However, in the office the urge to be accepted by the people was stronger than ever.
This has planted several seeds of insecurity. My ideas and thoughts began to clash and collide with others. I discovered that there are more people who think differently than ourselves. The wavelengths were rather parallel. There was no common point ! there was no room for two ideas to fit ! My ideologies were rooted from a different world than theirs. I felt the need to preserve my mind. They were precious to me and more importantly they were part of who I am. That is when I decided, there is no point being the water! There is no need to fit into every vessel on this planet. The shift from ice to water to gas is inevitable.