rhymes and words are running in my mind
they want to get spilled and placed every line
i can't utter words to tell this story of mine
neither metaphors to describe what’s inside

when in rock bottom, thoughts are active
they want to get out and make you assertive
they will decide what action should be made
and make you realize it is foolish the next morning.

but in this world of uncertainty
i believe this is just temporary
i know soon, wisdom and rhymes will come to me
and will be mixed in lines forming beautiful poetry.

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Photo by kazuend on Unsplash

Paalam -
katagang kapag aking binibigkas
hindi ko alam ang aking mararamdaman,
mapapanatag ba ako o masasaktan.

mapapanatag nang dahil sa wakas
wala nang mabigat na bagahe
na nakapaloob sa aking dibdib
na pilit kong nilalabas, o

masasaktan dahil araw-araw na mangungulila
sa iyong presensya habang nagtataka
kung ako nga ba ay kawalan,
kasabay ng aking pamamaalam.

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i went to look for joy
in scented blank papers,
in fine-point black pen, and
in my own subtle emotions

my words blew me to places
where tranquility and war meets.

writing was my escape from distress,
a sanctuary where madness turns into bliss.

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your eyes are telling me
that you're tired and worried
but you keep on telling me
“i'm fine, no need to worry”

i don't want to invade your privacy
but it's your eyes screaming “help me”
your mouth seems so optimistic
and acting like you're not problematic

i know you're trying to hold it
wearing a mask so no one will know it
you often use “happy-go-lucky”
to hide your vulnerability.

i used to see that mask on your face
but it's your eyes i notice
you're afraid of judgment
that's why you use that mask too often.

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wala na akong masabi,
tapos na akong lumaban
pagkasuklam akin ng isinantabi
mga problema’y akin nang iniwan.

ano pa ba ang aking sasabihin
nakatalikod na ako sa kahapon
nakaharap na ako sa magandang tanawin
na may panibagong mga layon.

mga mali’y akin ng naitama
ito na ang simula ng pagbabago
ako ay nakatayo na mula sa pagkadapa
at ako’y handa nang humarap sa panibagong bagyo.

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Life is not all about laughter
and how well it is.

Life is all about how you overcome
your own challenges,
it's all about how you handle
your problems for you not to suffer a lot,

It's all about learning in your everyday mistakes
and learning something from your experiences.

--

--

Simula noong ako'y bata pa
kapag ako ay nagsasalita
sinasapawan niyo at sumisigaw pa
para magmukhang kayo ang tama.

Ngayong may muwang na ako
pagod na ako sa masasakit na salita na inyong binabato,
gusto ko nang kumawala at tumayo para sa sarili ko
pero sa kasamaang palad, paningin niyo sa akin, walang respeto.

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Photo by Syarafina Yusof on Unsplash

I'm tired of being strong,
I'm tired of holding this for too long,
I'm tired keeping this heart so cold.

I just want to feel vulnerable,
I just want to cry out loud,
I just want to express how things hurting me a lot.

but I got no choice
but to keep these feelings at bay,
I got no choice
but to wear a mask again,
I got no choice
but to disregard this pain.

This article is published by Pluma Manila, a Creative Platform for Everything Filipino. If you’re Filipino or Pinoy at heart, Be part of our team and share your craft with us. Maraming Salamat!

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