MICROWAVE RELATIONSHIPS AND THE PHENOMENON OF FINDING THE RIGHT PARTNER
As we talk about the economic agenda, we should not forget that the social agenda is equally important. This is a story of insight cutting across the dating realm of the African youth. This piece is also dedicated to the African youth, those who believe that relationships and family are worth the investment.
The momentum in her voice was shaky and her heartbeat portrayed her inner feelings. She was devastated and not even a cool hug could massage her heart. Since the call could not express her full sentiments we decided to meet up at our usual place for a conversation. And now as I sit with her at the Cafelatta, am perplexed and confused on what to tell her. I am watching her fade away in pain as she digs her elbows in her thighs and covers her face. She unleashes her story.
After a three month dating period; my newly adopted ‘daughter’ broke up with her boyfriend. Her break up experience has engraved a thought in her mind. That men cannot be trusted. As she talks, the lined up blood veins in her forehead could burst forth in anguish. Her charming and light character subsides as the story unfolds. The tears from her eyes flood her pink blouse collar. She breathes in with a deep sigh and brings everything into perspective. She is angered to be a mere statistic of teens break ups. However, she has an awakening of falling in love again, but that will talk some nuggets of wisdom.
As I part ways with my daughter, am greatly convinced that a microwave functionality could be used to reclaim her lost glory and every other student who is willing to bounce back. The main parts of a microwave i.e. the timer and the glass plate carry a lot of insight into the subject matter. Welcome to this camp and let us unravel the mystery of teens dating.
THE TIMER PESRSPECTIVE
Now, under this paradigm we shall seek to explore the question: When is the right time to date: When should we start the dating timer?
First, you are ready to date when you decide that dating is good for nothing.
Truth be told that whatever you want to do with your girlfriend or boyfriend can be accomplished by your best friend, mum, dad, an auntie, grandma, or even your pet. If you want someone to go out for dates then your best friend can come in handy. If you’re looking for gifts then your mum and dad can always provide that. If its companionship, your pet can always keep you company especially a well-trained one. Those who are looking for sex and kisses often have sidekicks called ‘friends with benefits’ so really the role of a girlfriend and boyfriend can be achieved with someone else. You don’t have to date! Once you get to the position that you don’t have to date then you are ready for dating.
Secondly, you are ready to date when you decide that singleness is for a lifetime.
Singleness means living wholly as a complete human being who is constantly improving and growing in stature. Before we get into a dating relationship we are seen to hit the gym, horn our skills, dress modestly, talk with empathy, live with decorum etc. But once we get into that relationship we become a bum. And we are no longer seeking to improve ourselves. We take it for granted that our spouse can never leave. Woe onto you, because the stinking socks, your bad breath, your gossip nature, scant mini skirt, etc. will lead to your demise. Therefore we need to cultivate singleness every single day so that we present ourselves to our loved ones without blemish.
THE GLASS PLATE PERSPECTIVE
Due to the electromagnetic waves in the microwave the plate has to be made of glass. Any other plate material introduced into the microwave produces a cranking sound and the microwave malfunctions. This makes the glass plate a distinct part of a microwave. In the same way your date should be in sink with your distinctness and uniqueness by considering the following.
First, the person you choose to date should be in line with your purpose in life.
As you plan to date, choose someone who will push you towards your dreams. To the gentlemen, get that lady who will help you in your vision, one who will incubate your dreams, and encourage you during the days of anxiety and turmoil. Dear lady, date a man who will cultivate you, protect you, and has a vision of longevity. Every Obama needs a Michelle, and Uhuru with a Margaret. A lioness cannot coexist with a monkey or a horse with a donkey even though they are of the same family. Gold to Gold, Iron to Iron and Silver to Silver. Don’t choose the wood instead of the glass.
Secondly, the person you choose is not and will never be perfect.
We have lists of the qualities we are looking for in a partner that sometimes blind us from the true picture of life. This has been fashioned greatly by the soap operas that showcase the ‘Al hajdero and Camila effect’. Why do we allow a producer in Hollywood to create an impression on our minds on what dating is all about? You will never get the perfect one, so be patient with your partner as pressure in patience makes a diamond.
As I break this camp, I am more convinced that these perspectives will clear the doubt and the darkness of dating in my ‘daughter’s’ mind. The best gift I could give her in her coming birthday is this package full of dating nuggets. As I look into the future, I see her standing next to her fiancé laughing gracefully as she receives her graduation diploma at the graduation square. This goes to everyone who is willing to fight the good fight.
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