Hypergamy And Your Woman — Dynamism And Weakness
So your relationship has hit the skids. Perhaps you find yourself as the typical western Dad. Your edge is gone and no one really takes you very seriously any more. What the hell happened? You’ve been faithful, hardworking and a loving father. You love your wife and children like crazy. You know with absolute certainty you would die for them without hesitation.
Why doesn’t your woman see this? You bust your ass all day at work and take care of whatever needs to be taken care of at home. And you still desire her like crazy, but it’s almost like she’s doing you a favor most of the time. Doesn’t she remember what it used to be like? Doesn’t she want it to be like that again? Where did all her fire go?
If you find yourself in this kind of position then it’s time to get angry. Get angry at yourself.
Never mind assigning blame to your woman because ultimately you have no direct control over her state of mind. Familiarity and hypergamy are at play here. Use your anger to make yourself a better man. Leverage your current state of affairs to fuel a personal renaissance. Light up her imagination and flip her hypergamy to your advantage.
Think about it for a moment. If you finally decided that enough is enough and you were going to pursue your very best from now on until your last day, do you really think she could keep up? Do you think maybe her patronizing familiarity would eventually turn to a renewed interest? As you transform yourself and realize a new level of interest from other women, perhaps it will become obvious she did indeed get lucky. And that perhaps she had better begin to work to keep you happy.
Welcome to the fascinating world of hypergamy gentlemen. If you thought you had paid your dues and could just coast along with absolute respect and desire from your woman, apparently you were mistaken. It doesn’t matter that you’re tired or had some bad luck. All she really cares about is action and results. The sooner you accept that fact the better it will be. Do it for your own benefit and then watch as she begins to display a renewed interest in coming along for the ride.
Use your current situation as a red flag to change your life. It’s time to get your second wind and pursue your very best; it’s time to become a Force of Nature.
Certainly as a man with a few years behind him now you have some personal interests and a profession or trade. Are you busting a gut to get better at home and at work or just coasting along? Ask yourself what she sees when she looks at you. Does she see a man of action and precision or a man who is taking her for granted?
Remember gentlemen, hypergamy never rests. And thus, never can you if you want to stay out in front of your relationship and keep it vibrant and passionate. If you’re tired, then get untired. Every man needs proper rest, but there is no reason you can’t go full throttle all day, every day. Remember that action gives life to action. Your goal should be to cut through each day with a vengeance and achieve personal greatness. Embrace your life, don’t hide from it.
Start with the basics and get your diet in order. It’s not complicated. Eat with purpose and precision. Cut out sugar, wheat and alcohol. Eat only whole foods cooked at home and limit your beverages to water, black coffee and tea. Man up here. Enough is enough already with a lack of control when it comes to your consumption. Deny yourself for once. Look at yourself in the mirror. If you’re not lean and mean and you’re tired all the time, it’s time to go hardcore and cut weight like a man.
And it’s not all about getting fit and trim either. Although this will send a clear message to your woman’s intuition that something is up. It’s also about regaining your physical energy — about maintaining an elevated and even level of ambition each day so that you can pull away from the old you.
The western simple carbohydrate (primarily sugar and wheat) processed food diet is killing you slowly. The glucose-insulin cycle from processed carbohydrates drains your energy and keeps you addicted to constant consumption; just what the corporate food companies want. It is also killing your testosterone level which is one of the primary reasons you are lacking in energy and drive. Your body wants to be healthy and wants to excel. Give it the fuel it needs.
It might take 6 months or 18 months, but eventually you can get back to your prime weight and have as much physical energy as you ever had. I’m not talking about becoming a competitive athlete here, just about getting your physical self back to prime operating condition. It doesn’t matter what age you are either, you can get back to lean and mean. With the right mindset added to your renewed health, you should be able to go all day every day for 16 hours. Sure, take some time to relax and enjoy your woman and your children, but focus on becoming better at everything you do.
Instead working and living to pursue pleasure, work and live to become the best you can be. This will create happiness in your life. Pleasure is fleeting and extrinsically driven, happiness is lasting and intrinsically driven. Squeeze your woman and children in around your personal ambitions. Don’t ignore them of course, but put yourself first. Make yourself the prize. Your woman’s hypergamy will kick in and she will suddenly start to petition you for attention.
And don’t doubt it either, keep getting better and fight through the ups and downs with your woman along the way. Hell, even if she never gets it because she’s bat shit crazy, the front door is always there if you want it. There are plenty of women out there waiting to be swept away by a man on the move. But this is not our goal. The goal is to live life up in the High Country and bring your woman and children along for the ride. So leverage your woman’s hypergamy to enhance your life by constantly becoming better.
Part of stimulating a woman’s hypergamy to your advantage is to stimulate her imagination. For a woman, a man with aspects to his character that are new or unknown is a man to be paid attention to. There is a certain excitement for a woman when a man evolves and changes himself over time. In a sense he becomes a new man to her. Just as when you first met, she will benefit by not knowing everything there is to know about you and by appreciating your newness.
So just as with getting better at everything you do will benefit the both of you, so will adding a few more layers to your character. There is no reason you cannot change who you are, the things you do, how you spend your time, what you look like and how you carry yourself. If you find yourself in a rut and see that your woman sees the same thing, then make the decision to get out of that rut. Become a different man, a better man and stoke the fire in your woman.
There are also only so many hours in the day, so as you take your life on a different path part of your transformation can also be what you no longer do as well. To get started, what if you quit drinking and gave up television and began reading and writing in some fashion instead? If you are not exactly sure in what direction you need to go, reading about what interests you for 6 or 12 or 18 months might be a good start. A world of knowledge is available to you right now for what you would normally spend on beer.
Speaking of beer, at some point stuffing your face and getting a buzz on has to get a little old doesn’t it? Take a look down at your gut and then have a look over at your woman. Would you trade your pizza and beer gut for the passion and connection you once had? If you’ve still got the fire then it’s time to deny yourself. Begin to harden your character by becoming harder on yourself. A man with a soft middle and a soft mind is not attractive to a woman. Make the decision to add to who you are by subtracting from who you are. Get rid of the excess that is slowing you down. Get lean and mean and enjoy it as her interest and attention begin to grow.
And along with television and alcohol, perhaps it’s also time to stop watching other men in matching jerseys run a round and compete for glory. Perhaps it’s time for you to get out there in the world and reap your own glory. Begin competing with yourself and kick your own ass. Make it a point to leave your old self so far behind that the old you has to suffer relegation. Consider it a milestone when you think back and become disgusted with your old ways. And then never forget this feeling and continue on in your quest.
Imagine yourself 18–24 months out, a completely new man through addition and subtraction. Imagine as well that along the way you didn’t even talk about it, you just did it. Think action and not words. You’ve hardened yourself and become more sophisticated. You are a physical presence and carry yourself with confidence and verve. And this is just the beginning. You’ve got direction and momentum now and your woman can see it. She can especially see it when you are out and about, especially in how other women react to you now.
This is turning a woman’s hypergamy to your advantage is it not? And this is living as a man should, constantly bettering himself and evolving. So don’t resent your woman’s hypergamy, embrace it, leverage it and then enjoy the good life. Become a dynamic man.
No Weakness and No Complaining
I will submit to you a Panzer Original Iron Rule regarding women and hypergamy: No Weakness and No Complaining.
If you remember nothing else remember this: never, ever complain or display weakness in front of your woman. Always maintain frame. Nothing is more of an attraction killer for a woman than a man who complains and displays weakness. You can take this sensitive man BS and flush it down the toilet. Women may say they want a man who isn’t afraid to show his feelings, but this is not the man they will hunger for and stick with over the long term.
Feel free to be empathetic, sympathetic, compassionate and affectionate all day long. But never confuse these qualities with complaining or weakness. The former are positive character traits and focused outward toward others; or her. The latter are negative and focused inward toward yourself. Which do you think she would appreciate more from her man? Let her see you direct your affections towards her and your loved ones as a man of sophistication and authenticity, not inward with weakness and self-pity.
What? Do you think you’re the first man on the planet to get roughed up by life and injustice? Your job is to handle it, whatever it is. Your difficulties will need to be solved in any case so why not tear after them with your head held high. Think to yourself when you are knee deep in it, “This is when it really matters how I handle myself. This is the time to stand tall and rise above it all with courage and tenacity. This is the test.”
Complaining will simply mire your spirit in the negative and tarnish your luster in the mind of your woman. This is not what she wants to see. This is not the man she will admire and long for. What she wants to see is for you to handle yourself with an indomitable spirit no matter how bad it gets. And the truth is that you should take the high road as such for yourself in any case. By putting yourself first and taking care of business as a matter of fact, you will be controlling the frame of your relationship.
And as we have discussed this is innately better for the both of you. Her hypergamy requires the strongest possible mate to validate her decision. And when times are tough you will provide that validation. You will demonstrate to her that she chose well. Even when life gets ugly, you’ve got to push through regardless. Do it simply as a matter of principle. Sometimes that’s all you’ve got.
Better Faster Stronger
There it is gentlemen, the magic formula. Become a better man, evolve and harden yourself.
Take your woman’s hypergamy and flip it to your advantage. It is exactly what she wants.
Get better at what you do and stoke your woman’s subconscious competition anxiety. If she sees you raise your value in the sexual marketplace because of your abilities she will work harder to keep and please you. Let her see that other women have an interest in you so that there is always a little replacement dread.
Become a dynamic man and evolve. Add some layers to who you are and go about your business quietly. This will leverage her female imagination and add some excitement to her opinion of you. Yes indeed, it is good when your woman is excited about you as her man is it not?
And finally, harden your mind to difficulties and obstacles. We all have to face them. Why not face them as a man of stone? What good does it ever do to complain and display weakness to your woman? Demonstrate to her that you will handle it all with guts and determination. Push through clear to the other side and then reap the benefits.
All the best,
Max Panzer is the publisher of Becoming a Force of Nature. He is an independent business owner and has been married to the same woman for over 25 years. Max pursues his Life Mission at full throttle and works to cut through each day with a stronger, sharper, gleaming edge.
This article was originally published on Becoming a Force of Nature.