Stop Complaining To Your Woman
Do yourself a favor and stop complaining to your woman; date, girlfriend, partner or wife, make a decision and put a stop to it from here on in. Make a vow to yourself to never again complain to a woman, any woman — period.
Nothing will diminish a man more to a female than one who is constantly complaining. It doesn’t matter what the reason or how unjust the outcome, she doesn’t really care.
She may lend a sympathetic ear and sooth you with a pat on the back, but deep in her subconscious she is thinking something else. Over time she will form the mental construct that you are not the man who is going to take the lead and shield her from the difficulties in her life. And that my friend, makes you less and less attractive as a mate each and every time you do it.
I don’t care how modern and how professional or successful your woman is, she needs to know that you are fully capable of being her shield and spear if she should ever need it.
And complaining about all the bad and unfair things that happen to you completely destroys your chance of becoming and remaining that figurative shield and spear. It doesn’t matter how bad you’ve had it, she doesn’t want to hear it.
Remember, attraction and desire are not negotiable so do yourself a favor in this area and never show weakness. It will do you no good in your relationship and it is a complete waste of time and energy in any case.
Yes indeed the panacea for this problem, as with many areas that a man is underperforming in, is to MAN UP. It seems that as with many things in our existence, the Creator has bestowed a simple solution for our self-inflicted wounds; and once again it is simple but not necessarily easy.
What does it mean to man up in this instance? It means you will handle your problems and disappointments like a grown man instead of like a little boy who feels better after reaching out for sympathy from his mother.
This is a harsh statement, but think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Weakness is not a positive trait for survival. Even in today’s modern westernized society the same holds true. A man who stands tall and handles the challenges of life with persistence and positive action will always outshine the lesser man who does not. And don’t think for a moment your woman is not cognizant of this.
Thus, you will consider yourself a Rugged Individualist from this day forth. And the first step as such is that you will no longer complain about anything to your woman. Even if she asks you about it, baiting you to fall into old habits you will not comply.
You will let her know that “whatever” did not go as well as you would have liked, but that you have taken care of it. Or you will tell her you are past it and moving on. Another solid reply is that it is nothing and you are above it all. Bare minimum, just don’t talk about it.
Remember, anything is better than whining and moaning. These are weak actions and weakness does not become a man, especially in the eyes of a woman.
Handle your problems like a grown man. You will find a way over them, around them or simply crush them.
This is the only answer if you want to excel and separate yourself from the norm. It may be very difficult and take everything you have, but the alternative would be to give in. And of course, that is not an option we will allow for here at BFN.
You will no longer talk negatively about work. Even though it may be true that your job, boss or company stinks to high heaven, there will be no more complaining about work.
I know, brutal right? Everybody complains about work, it is a national pastime. It’s like talking about the weather or football.
But not you, no more — you are going to handle it all. You will show up to work early and stay until the job is done. You will conduct yourself at the highest professional standard for your own benefit even if your job stinks on ice.
Even to your co-workers there will be nothing but positive professionalism. Here as well, never bring any personal negativity into the work place. When you work, you work. Take the reciprocal approach here and never complain about work or personal matters during employment.
You might as well be consistent and completely reprogram your outlook. A good first step is to stop speaking out loud any negativity. Also be sure never to bleed any emotional tells when you are working for pay. No one at work should have any inclination if you are unhappy.
You will then project that same indefatigable and indomitable spirit to your woman at home.
All she needs to know is that as a provider you are as solid as cold steel. You show up to work every day, you never get sick and you get the job done. And you will handle it all, never complain and bring home the pay.
You will even tell her that as a matter of fact you like to work and you can’t get enough of it. Even if none of this is true you will act as if. It will be for your personal benefit and it will raise your profile in the eyes of your woman.
And if your employment situation in reality not very satisfactory, you will quietly work to resolve that problem as a man as well. But that is a story for another day.
This is the big one gentlemen, this is where you will take full responsibility. You will no longer complain to your woman about how she treats you. No matter how much it is seemingly deserved, there will be no more talking — there will only be action.
The only exception to this action only rule is if she is directly disrespectful to you. If this is the case, you will treat her as a child and tell her that type of language will no longer be tolerated. You will tell her that disrespectful and abusive speech toward you is unacceptable and you will not stand for it.
A couple of quiet, but firm sentences are all that is required. You will then turn away from her and leave the premises if at all possible. Let her see you grab a book and walk out the door without any further communication. Spend a few hours reading, have a cup of coffee and then return home with your head held high.
If it happens again, rinse and repeat until she learns to treat you respectfully. Always stay calm, cool, collected and take action. She will learn. And if not, then I suggest you start packing.
Alright, back to taking full responsibility for your woman’s lack of interest, passion, consideration and respect. Consider any complaining here a vicious circle; the more you do it the worse it is going to get.
Instead you will accept your situation, take charge and then make some concrete changes. The assumption here is that your woman was at some point interested, passionate, considerate and respectful. If this is the case you will go to work as a man to bring these qualities back out of her.
You will improve her by improving you because it is in the evolutionary nature of a woman to be extremely demanding of her chosen mate. Her passion, desire and zest for you are not negotiable. They are instead tied to survival. You will need to demonstrate to her that you are an extremely valuable man to be associated with. You are a man that will provide for and protect her and her children. And that you are constantly working to improve yourself.
Yesterday’s accomplishments are not good enough; you must always be breaking new ground. This is good for her and good for you, accept it and get on with it.
And of course, this is what we are all about here at BFN. You will advance every area of your life: diet, fitness, style, intellectual, emotional, financial and mindset. But remember, you will do these things for your benefit and work to fulfill your worthy purpose.
In the end, becoming the very best you can be will benefit all those around you as well, especially your woman.
Focus on the process and then reap the rewards.
Stop complaining and hit the gas.
Go Hard and Fast
Consider today day one. You are going to completely change your posture physically and figuratively around your woman. The long game is in play here, but you will go hard and fast pursuing your immense potential.
You will be standing tall and put an end to all complaining. Action will now define you and eventually she will catch on and the glory days of old will return.
Think of it this way. If you never stop improving yourself just for the sheer joy of it and if you make it a way of life to bend your Trajectory upward and never quit, do you think she stands a chance? No she does not.
In the end, by not complaining to your woman as if she were your mother, you will eliminate a convenient weakness of habit that holds back many men from their true potential.
It is very easy in the peace of one’s home for a man to let his guard down. This is fine. A man’s home should be his castle where he can relax and recuperate. Just don’t let that transform into a bad habit that will rob you of all your glorious potential.
Always be aware that you are the master of your own mind. As you speak and as you behave will eventually become self-fulfilling prophesies. It is simply how the Creator has put us together. In the long run we become what we think, what we say and the actions we take; quite an elegant formula really, elegant but again not necessarily easy.
Do yourself a big favor, and leverage the huge power inherent in a simple decision.
Never complain to your woman again.
All the best,
Max Panzer is the publisher of Becoming a Force of Nature. He is an independent business owner and has been married to the same woman for over 25 years. Max pursues his Life Mission at full throttle and works to cut through each day with a stronger, sharper, gleaming edge.
This article was originally published on Becoming a Force of Nature.