Sometimes, Even Us Atheists Need A Little ‘Faith’

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Any of my friends who know me (on Medium it’s usually just my one and only reader, Mandini Popstar — love you babes!) will be aware of how much I’ve struggled over the past year.

Truth is, in reality, I’ve actually struggled way, way more than anybody really knows. So it was a monumentally huge thing for me to post an invite on the “Foreigners in Oaxaca” FB group and invite anybody who had nowhere to go into my home for Christmas Day.

My trust and faith and hope had been pretty much destroyed — and that had literally been all I felt I had left at this point. So making that move was huge for me — not because I worried about people robbing things from me (anything of any monetary value had already been destroyed and or broken by others I let into my life previously) but because, in essence, I just simply couldn’t deal with more bullshit and let downs and disappointment.

But — fuck it.

I put the invite out. I spent the last of the money I had and I cooked a chicken curry, and I baked a cheesecake (I attempted to make garlic naan bread, but, the less said about that the better) and I bought a few beers and a bottle of wine. I also bought a cheap but sweet gift for a random stranger, who may, or may not, turn up, and I wrapped it in newspaper.

Right up until 2 pm I was still of the mindset that nobody will bother turning up, because, duh, why the fuck would they?

However, thankfully I’m not currently in the grip of a raging fucking depression, so, plus side, I would have a month’s worth of curry to eat, never-ending cheesecake and a sufficent level of beer to get drunk enough to blank everything out.)

So, whatever.

Then, a mother fucking “Christmas” miracle happened.

Eight people arrived, bearing gifts no less, and more food.

More importantly, though, it only bloody turned out that each and every one of them was [is?!!] smart, and funny, and engaging, and compelling and interesting and lovely. Like, seriously.

OIt resulted in being one of the best Christmas Days that I can remember — for so many reasons that I’m unable and unwilling to express right now.

I’m far from religious — I never believed in fairy tales, even as a child — but right here, right now, I am totally feeling the “Christmas spirit”….

(If you’re reading this, and you are struggling, lonely or depressed, please please please message me. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ or contact https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1–800–273–8255. Things WILL get better.)

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