How Quickly You’ll Fall in the Proletariat Uprising Based on How Many Items from the 2017 Williams Sonoma Thanksgiving Checklist You Already Have

Notes:
Twine does not count if you recently used it to close a wound

If you own a “Food Mill” that produces flour using running water, add +2

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — -

1–7: We’re all meeting at Forest Park on November 20th at 9:45

8–15: Allowed to live for a few months. “Night by the Fire” candle has burned low when the mob finally arrives on your doorstep

16–29: Boiled alive in pre-jarred Chicken Cacciatore Braising Sauce within the first couple weeks

30–37: Will not survive the night the means of production are seized. As you are stabbed repeatedly you will think “but that knife is for vegetables”