But, it just might get you closer to it

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Photo by Zulmaury Saavedra on Unsplash

I really wish it did. I wish it was that simple and easy— rebel from the status quo and voila, you’re free! That would be awesome. I did try it. For a good while. I mean, polyamory looks really good on paper and as an ideal, but in action…well, I’ll talk about that a little.

Firstly, regardless of this introduction, I’m still an advocate for polyamory. My experiences in poly were part of a journey of discovery that I wouldn’t take back for the world. Experimenting beyond our default relational structure of monogamy could be compared to spending years in…


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Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

It happened today; that feeling of being out-of-sorts and discombobulated; like some essential part of myself has floated off into a pool of primordial jelly, while my physical self blankly stares, sipping on a latte.

The root of this disconcerting feeling tends to be economic; the results of which are a combination of bad luck and a predilection for life-choices that are somewhere between nefarious and masochistic. But it’s not like I haven’t tried to be ‘normal’ or ‘responsible’ or make ‘better economic choices’ in the ‘real world.’ I have. …


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Klaus Hausmann from Pixabay

And I was a damsel in distress, with amaranthine desires for love, attention, and pleasures. Men, who’s clandestine anguish fit my wounds, found me irresistible…lock and key. We were angels and devils and hungry ghosts, drinking of one another, consuming through bliss and agony; black holes that slowly absorbed the sun, moon and stars.

There was a part of me submerged, flowing within the currents of the ocean, while the remainder thrived upon the shores; eating, sleeping, fucking… and running from demons and from wolves. I still heard her voice, that muse, distant as she was. She knew my creativity…


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Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash

Sadomasochism–interaction, especially sexual activity, in which one person enjoys inflicting physical or mental suffering on another person, who derives pleasure from experiencing pain.

Sounds intense, right? We might think of 50 Shades of Grey, dark underground sex rooms, leather, spikes and chains. Mostly, these images arise from Hollywood, extremist media and San Fran sex shows. But the original meaning of sadomasochism, applicable to this discussion, was a bit more tame.

Sadomasochism is a portmanteau of sadism and masochism; terms coined in the nineteenth century by German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing, who conceived of common natural tendencies of sadism in men and masochism in women that were based on control rather than necessitating physical pain or violence.

In his book, Escape From Freedom, Erich…


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Revised and Republished from July 2018

Interpersonal relationships are the glue that holds societies together. They extend from partners to family and friends, our neighborhood, and the entire global community.

In observation of the state of our relationships, our future appears quite precarious — something like balancing on one toe while juggling hot potatoes and kazooing the national anthem.

But our relationship models are changing… as they must. The nuclear family, combined with America’s hyper-individualism and ‘free market’ values have left us isolated, disconnected and mentally ill. Trapped within our nuclear family model, children often become fearful of one another…


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Pete Lynforth in Pixabay

How to be free 101

Here’s How to Make the Changes you Need

The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation—Thoreau

Do you ever ask yourself where you’re going or what you’re doing?
I’m not talking about when you walk into a room and wonder why you went there. That happens. What I am talking about is the bigger picture; your life. Is the way you live your life meaningful? Do you feel a sense of drive and purpose in what you do?

Sadly, most people don’t feel that way. They work merely for survival.
This is normal. It’s also deadening.

Forty hours a week (a minimum for most) is a hefty…


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Photo by Leighann Renee on Unsplash

Sexuality and Relationships 101

Our most difficult relationships often provide our greatest lessons

Almost a decade ago, I went on a spectacular journey with a partner. We drove through the Dolomites, visited a gothic cathedral in Cologne, strolled the footbridges of Venice and looked over the sea from the cliffs of Cinque Terra, Italy.

I remember one particular moment when looking out from those high cliff windows, watching the setting sun’s light sparkle upon the rippling ocean. I was thinking about how I’d never before experienced such adventure and luxuries as during this time with ‘Ron.’ We were visiting gorgeous places, eating delicious foods, and meeting delightful people along the way. There was…


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SvenKirsch on Pixabay

Zombie Survival 101

A (not altogether) fictional dystopia

You watch the world stage as the zombies of the rampant capitalistic apocalypse frantically rush to meet their quotas and increase the GDP. Hands grip steering wheels, heads bouncing while they listen to K-Fed, or grunt spasmodically in response to commentary by Mike Huckabee. Engines roar from interminable lines of vehicles snaking, day in, day out, ceaselessly around the globe.

While the zombies drove to their respective jobs (they hated them but still went) they would see people waiting tables through windows of little restaurants as they passed, or leaning over the open hoods of cars, or bent over, planting…


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Gerd Altmann on Pixabay

Sexuality 101

How to be in your sexual power

We walk a convoluted path when it comes to sex and relationships. Particularly for women, everything around us relays the message that sex is our greatest value and asset; from twerking music videos, to beauty advertisements, to Kim Kardashian. If we’re sexy, we’ll be loved and admired, and we’ll make the big bucks.

That’s the cultural stuff. Then add the personal into the mix.

When I was fifteen, I ran away and had to find a way to survive. That, in itself, was challenging enough. Yet because my father had left before I was old enough to walk, that basic…


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Free-photos from Pixabay

Drugs don’t kill people, people kill people!

There are drugs that have been proven to have beneficial effects. There are also drugs that haven’t. Most healthy Americans would agree that heroin, in terms of a street drug, is one of the latter. Using it kills a lot of people. We know that. We have the stats. Accordingly, most healthy Americans would agree that it’s not a good idea to have a bunch of heroin laying around in the average person’s home. Why? Well, if heroin is in the house, people would have a greater chance of killing themselves by using heroin.

So, we made it illegal.

If…

Maya Yonika

Writer. Pragmatic Idealist. Driven by the desire to resolve societal zombification. mayayonika@gmail.com

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