On my death bed
Last night i was brooding about my life and few questions came across my mind.
How my life is going and what it would be like after 5 years?(If i lived enough)
Am i giving 100% to alter my bad habits?
Am i really doing things which will make me happy?
Am i really doing the work which i love to do?
My inner-self did not answer to these questions,i guess it is ashamed of the way i am living, so it has stopped answering me now.
I know the answer is a big NO. I am not working as hard as i could do. I was exhaust mentally of asking the same question again and again,so i fell asleep and saw a dream which sent shivers down my spine.
I saw an old man lying on a bed in a room filled with around 8–10 other persons ,surrounding his bed.He must be around 80 years old and on his death bed .His face was dull,eyes were moist and full of regrets.I could read his mind,he was regretting about his past.He thought he could have taken so many risks in life but he never tried to came out of his comfort zone.
He could have become an actor but he never tried because he was scared enough to take the shit of failure on his face.
He could have roam around the world but he did not even able to see properly his own country.
He could have 100 of friends but he had none because of his introvert nature.
And now on his death bed he has nothing to do but to regret .
His hands were shivering a bit,a boy of 16 year old came near to him and hold his shivering hands.
The old man smiled broadly ,all of a sudden that boy asked him a question.
“Grandpa did you live your life as you wanted it to be?
“Did you follow your heart or peoples opinion?
These questions seems to have wounded old mans heart and the blood of his heart in the form of tears rolled down from his eyes.
Other family members started scolding the boy for asking such a question at this time.(This happens in real life the one who asks the true question is ridiculed by the society)
The old man asked them to calm down and told them, the boy has asked a bitter but a very meaningful question.
The old man hold both hands of the boy and said “No dear ,i did not live my life as i wanted to and did not listen to my heart and succumb to opinion of the people.
But i can tell you from my experience, how can you live your life as you want it to be and do what you really love to do .
I woke up from the sleep ,it was 4 A.M. My head was rolling and i could not make out why i had this dream.
Was the old man in the dream was my future self? This thought has put me in state of despair.
I was sweating out of fear because i do not want to be like that old man on my death bed.We all know that one day we are going to die but we do not mean it actually.
We live everyday as if we are going to live forever on this earth.
KNOCK ! KNOCK!
Wake up friends we all are going to die,please do not live as if we are immortals,we all have limited time ,so make most of it.
I have decided that the only way to not to become like that old man is to answer these two question:
Are you living your life as you wanted it to be?
Do you follow your heart or peoples opinion?
I have decided to answer this question through living my life as i want it to be and follow my heart and not peoples opinion.
What about you?