The Art of Indifference: Differentiating Between What We Can and Cannot Control

Mazhar Mansoor, PhD
4 min readApr 24, 2023

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In a world characterized by constant change, uncertainty, and seemingly insurmountable challenges, it is natural for individuals to experience anxiety, frustration, and despair. While it is impossible to control all external factors that shape our lives, we possess the innate ability to alter our perspectives and develop a more resilient mindset. In this essay, we delve into the art of indifference, a concept deeply rooted in Stoic philosophy, that enables us to differentiate between what we can and cannot control, ultimately cultivating inner tranquility and fostering personal growth.

I. The Essence of Indifference

To appreciate the power of indifference, we must first understand its essence. Indifference is not apathy or callousness; rather, it is a skillful, deliberate mental practice that involves recognizing the limits of our control and focusing our energies on areas where we can create positive change. As Seneca the Younger once said, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” By cultivating indifference, we can develop an inner resilience that allows us to face life’s challenges head-on without being consumed by worry, anxiety, or disappointment.

II. The Dichotomy of Control

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus famously asserted that some things are within our control, while others are not. He wrote, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” Within our purview are our thoughts, emotions, and actions; external factors such as the behavior of others, natural occurrences, and the passage of time remain beyond our influence. By acknowledging this inherent dichotomy, we can prioritize our efforts and invest our energies in areas where we can make a genuine difference.

III. Embracing Indifference to Foster Resilience

Indifference, as a mental practice, enables us to develop a more resilient mindset. By acknowledging the limits of our control and focusing on what we can influence, we become less susceptible to feelings of helplessness, despair, and frustration. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, illustrated this point when he wrote, “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Rather than dwelling on circumstances beyond our reach, we can cultivate an inner fortitude that allows us to weather life’s storms and maintain our composure in the face of adversity.

IV. Practical Applications of Indifference

Implementing the art of indifference in our daily lives begins with self-awareness. We must learn to identify situations where we have control and those where we do not. For instance, when faced with a difficult coworker, we cannot control their behavior, but we can control our response to it. By practicing indifference in such scenarios, we can choose to maintain our composure, respond assertively, or take steps to minimize the impact of the coworker’s behavior on our well-being.

A famous tale that illustrates the practice of indifference is the story of the Zen master and the eager student. The student approached the master, asking how to achieve enlightenment. The master calmly replied, “When you’re hungry, eat; when you’re tired, sleep.” In this simple yet profound statement, the master emphasized the importance of focusing on actions within our control and accepting the natural flow of life.

Similarly, in the face of global crises or social injustices, we may feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the issues at hand. However, by embracing the art of indifference, we can refocus our energies on actions within our control, such as volunteering, donating, or advocating for change. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” In this manner, we can contribute positively to the world while remaining grounded and composed.

V. The Role of Indifference in Personal Growth

Beyond fostering resilience, the art of indifference plays a crucial role in personal growth. By differentiating between what we can and cannot control, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, our values, and our priorities. This self-awareness enables us to make more informed decisions, set realistic goals, and take responsibility for our actions. As we learn to accept the impermanence of life and the limits of our control, we can better appreciate the present moment, cultivate gratitude, and develop a more profound sense of inner peace.

Epictetus once wrote, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” By practicing the art of indifference, we learn to find contentment in our present circumstances, even as we strive to improve ourselves and make a positive impact on the world.

Conclusion

The art of indifference, a concept rooted in Stoic philosophy, offers a powerful mental practice that enables us to differentiate between what we can and cannot control. By acknowledging the limits of our influence and refocusing our energies on areas within our purview, we can develop a more resilient mindset, foster personal growth, and enhance our overall well-being. As we navigate the complexities and uncertainties of life, the art of indifference equips us with the tools to remain steadfast in the face of adversity, embrace the present moment, and ultimately, lead a more fulfilling and purposeful existence.

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Mazhar Mansoor, PhD

Translating academic insights into practical strategies. 📚💡| Digital Transformation, Applied AI, Strategic Planning, Leadership Development.