#1 The anatomy of being shit.

Failure is a part of life. There is no doubt about that.

I’m quite experienced loser as my Medium title say. I was failing in major of things that I wanted to do or dreamed of. Most of the time I was looking fault somewhere else. I was blaming bad luck, business partners, customers, users, parents.

Customers were always too demanding, parents were too poor to help me out with business or buying me an apartment (or house) and so on and on. Infinite field of excuses. There always were someone standing in front of me when I just wanted to succeed. Fuck. No.

The moment when I saw who was behind all of my shit was enlightening.

It was ME!
Ok, so cutting this crap off. What I mean is, the whole time problem was in me and I was not realizing that. Not clients was shit, I was (but some of them too, still). My business partner was not shit. I was (in fact my best friend/business partner was working her ass off!).

Realizing this is not the ‘a-ha!’ moment yet. The knowledge of being dumb fuck who was destroying your dreams to this point may be not sufficient to take actions yet.

Be like Conan.

For me it was, and still is, realizing that the only way to getting somewhere is: WORK HARD AS FUCK, EVERY FUCKING DAY!

For me the most frightening, but also most motivating is thought that I can become like my parents. Without ambition. No one.

That is the only thing that I can EVER say wrong about my parents. Lack of ambition to DO, to create, to hustle. But they inspired me to become who am I now with all curiosity and eager to becoming better. It took me some time to understand this. I failed much in the way. I’m failing still and I will fail further.

Fighting with yourself isn’t easy. That voice in your head, talking to you that you should watch some YouTube or play Xbox or eat that whole pizza won’t stop. And it ain’t easy to say fuck YOU, it’s my time now dick. Im in the middle of the process by myself.

I know that may sound like crap of coaching bullshit. But I hope some of you guys and gals after digging through this pile of cesspool will think about this for a minute.

Have an epic 2019. At least today.