You are pedantic. Yes your scenario is by definition the worst case, but it is completely, outlandishly, utterly unrealistic. It’s like arguing that people shouldn’t get an education or go to university, because the worst case scenario would be that on the first day they walk to school a meteorite will fall on their head and kill them. This is how insane your argument is. It is never, ever going to happen that in practice every satoshi is its own output. You know it. Admit it.
On the other hand my estimate of 1 UTXO per human being is realistic. And I meant this as an order of magnitude (1 to 10).
PS: “doubling the transaction traffic” still wouldn’t increase the UTXO set.