The Path To Finding Closure

Mario S. Cornejo
Aug 24, 2017 · 3 min read

One of the hardest things that I had to realize on my own, but what turned out to be one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my adolescence, is that “closure” is kind of a bunch of BS.

Now…I should probably elaborate more on that and my usage of quotes around that last remark.

Almost three years ago now, I experienced my first heartbreak. It actually came about from an ‘almost’ relationship (a case in which I invested too much emotional energy into a particular person for my own well being). Fortunately, after a couple of months, I was able to break free from the situation and had to make the conscious choice to move on with my life. But if only it was actually that easy. Because it was far from it.

Even after telling myself to move on, there were those lingering feelings of companionship that made it difficult to picture life without this particular person. But most importantly, I felt that I was left hard done by without any sort of recognition for it by the other person. I was broken in pieces, and the one who was responsible for it wouldn’t even turn around to at least recognize the mess that had been made, the mess that they made. Who would come about then to pick up the pieces?

This was what it felt like when I asked myself whether the idea of closure is really attainable.

But the thing is, it isn’t. At least, not that type of closure. People are gonna hurt you sometimes, because we’re all imperfect and make mistakes. And most of the time, no one is really always gonna come back to apologize or give you a monologue explaining why they did what they did, and why they feel sorry for it.

So really, the only person that’s gonna be there through thick and thin, when things go right or wrong, is YOU. And that’s the key.

The path to finding closure does not mean waiting or demanding for anyone’s sympathy or apology. It’s appreciating the fact that you took a chance and made yourself vulnerable to experience situations that had a chance of making you feel uncomfortable. It’s about honoring he emotions, but then using your head to realize that you CAN move on from this, and you WILL.

Actually, I like to think that we never really move on from certain people or experiences, rather that we learn to deal with them and use them as ways to make ourselves stronger. They are our battle scars that make us into the strong individuals we all are, so why should we just forget about them?

Three years ago, I took a chance and made myself emotionally vulnerable to another human being. Sure, it didn’t work out in the way I would’ve wanted it to, but in the end, it was the first step in appreciating the fact that I shouldn’t be afraid to express myself out to the world for other people to see. It was a huge step out of my comfort zone and at the end of the day it’s definitely something that I will always be grateful for.

So if you want to FIND closure…maybe instead you should MAKE your own closure.

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Written by

College Graduate, now starting the unpredictable journey that is the adult world.

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