Blame Sir Clive Sinclair.

He couldn’t see the hideous future he was creating.

Sling Your Hook, You’re Being Replaced by Metal Mickey

This may be the stupidest headline I’ve ever read. No, not Naomi’s fashion faux pas (but seriously, what was she thinking wearing fashion at the Fashion Awards?). The Daily Mail have really pulled a doozy out of the hat with: ROBOTS TO STEAL 15M OF YOUR JOBS!!!!

Of course, advancements in technology will make a lot of jobs redundant, but it’s inevitable others will spring up in our ever-evolving world. And hey, we may even find a way of living peacefully without jobs (unlikely). But the Mail being the Mail they’ve neglected to say all this.

The thing that gets me, and is so, so, soooooooo ridiculous about this incredible headline is the word: STOLEN. STOLEN for goodness sake. These robots are going to steal your job. They’re going to literally take your job out of your hands like a petty thief in the night. Look over there…gone, nicked the job right offa yah, stitched ya up like a kipper, ya fleshy mug!

And where are they coming from? Are they Polish robots? Or are they from further afield like Iran or Syria? Maybe, they’re from really far away like Alpha Centauri, I imagine these are the really bad ones, as they have no idea what it means to be British and have British values. They’ll come over here with their efficiency and analytical brains and won’t get our way of tutting, laughing at Antiques Roadshow and not talking.

And what if some of these robots aren’t as binary as they seem. What if some of these robots are not good upstanding heterosexual robots? What if their idea of fun is sticking their USBs in a headphone socket? They could be riddled with viruses and then they’ll come over here steal our jobs AND give us computer AIDS, which is the worst kind by the way.

Fucking hell, not only is the Daily Mail intolerant of non-white people, gay people, bi-people, transgendered people, plus the foreigns and Remoaners. Now they got it in for robots as well.

Let’s switch 2016 on and off again eh?