Change

A lot of people say they’re afraid of change. A lot of people embrace it. I very honestly believe that decision is what defines who most of us are.

I personally embrace change. I actively search for it. I enjoy new things; being in an uncomfortable setting and making the best of it, walking up to a group of people I barely know and making friends, trying to do something I know how to do and have done a million times a completely different way. I really love just seeing how I overcome obstacles and grow from it. There’s a great quote I learned a few days ago talking to a friend I particularly enjoy:

“You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety.” — Abraham Maslow

My life is full of change, every day. All the time I’m surrounded by people I don’t know, I’m presented information that I’ve never seen before, I’m told to do something I have no idea how to do. Normally I simply reply with an “ok” and do my best to get it done. And I’ll do it, maybe getting frustrated, but I’ll do it. It’s how I’ve become who I am today.

High school wasn’t a great time for me. I’ve told many of my friends that. I didn’t have many friends, I was used, and most people would label me as an introverted nerd, and would proceed to ignore me. And that hurt. I wanted to make friends, and be social, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t be who I wanted to be. That’s why I looked forward to college so much. Because it was the first time in my life I could be exactly the person I pictured myself as and the only one who would stop me from doing it was myself. And so I didn’t let myself. I accept each new day as a day to be what I want to be. And I’ve changed because of it. I feel more confident, and secure. I feel loved and respected. I’m more outgoing and adventurous, and most of it is because I said to myself “I can do this and I will”.

Of course, there are some changes in my life I’m afraid of. Anything past college is still terrifying to me. Losing my best friend. Losing any of my friends, at that. People close to me changing, and growing away. Myself changing, and growing away. I know a lot of these things most likely won’t happen, but it’s the thought that makes me uneasy.

I’m not who I thought I would be 4 years ago. Hell, I’m not the person I thought I’d be 2 years ago. But just sitting and thinking about it, I realize that’s alright. I could have never known where I would be at this point. In school, they always have you do those “where do you see yourself in 5 years” activities, and I don’t think that’s fair. Because it make you have this ideal of what everything should be like, and I don’t think that’s what we should be doing. Because things change, and it creates a sense of disappointment. You didn’t reach your goal, you failed to become whatever you wanted, but if you’re doing what you love and you love what you’re doing, shouldn’t that be enough? When I was younger, I wanted to be an engineer, just like my dad, but I ended up as a scientist. Which is good, don’t get me wrong. And I’m way more then happy about it. And honestly, I think that’s enough in life. Just do something you’re happy with and be happy about it.

Change defines so much. Who we are, who we will be, where we’re going, what possibilities lay in the future, but I think that’s a thing of beauty. Because nothing in set in stone. Anything can happen. It all just depends on if we accept and embrace it as it comes, or if we fight it all the way through.