Wow. Tears here (everything makes me weep). I think the power in the story, for me, was your being delivered a gift instead of a kick in the ass (ass kicking is not a good motivator). I tend to err on the side of obsessional, concerning what I’m doing and why. What I’m saying (or not) and why. I circle back, when it becomes clearer, making sure i clean it up. (just now i said to our grown son, “Do you know why I failed to _____ yesterday?”)
Thanks so much for sharing this. (oh, and the comparison trap. The guy with table cleaning prowess. It’s so easy to do and so unproductive. The biggest kick in the ass we give to our own sweet self.) Happy weekend!