“RESET” and “RENEW” (Part 2 of 2)

A Quick Reference guide to help you move from relationship conflict to relationship renewal

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Enhancing Communication by Dr Ken McGill)

This version provides biblical insight to help you move from relationship conflict to relationship renewal


R: Remove yourselves from each other. Call a Time Out!

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant support from Zion. May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed” — Psalm 20:1–4

E: Explore how this happened and what needs repairing

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” Psalm 139:23–24

S: Spirituality: Breathe and pray for insight and compassion

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled” — John 14:26ff

E: Examine and share the most important point to you

Gold there is, rubies in abundance, but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel”- Proverbs 20:15

T: Time to listen, appreciate and change what you can

…Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. And over all these virtues, put on love…” — Colossians 3:12–14


R: Remember, your Spouse is not your Enemy!

A new command I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another” — John 13:34–35

E: Explore and share the lesson God wants you to receive

Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance…The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline” — Proverbs 1:5, 7

N: “Kneel” and pray for (and) with your Spouse; Bless versus curse

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” — Luke 6:27–28

E: “Implement” immediate behavior that creates peace

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit…Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness” — James 3:17–18

W: Work to create safe and empowering memories

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” — Psalm 51:10. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit…each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others” — Philippians 2:3–4

A few questions for your “RESET” and “RENEW”

1. Your thoughts about “RESET” (Part 1 and Part 2)? Anything for you to RESET to enhance your communication?

2. Your thoughts about “RENEW” (Part 1 and Part 2)? Anything for you to RENEW to enhance your communication?

For more information about Dr McGill’s books in the Cultivating Love book series, click here.

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