Always a Babysitter
Once you have kids, Milestones is a big word. As babies you have milestones of sitting up, crawling, walking, and talking. And as they get older you have going to the bathroom independently, able to pour a bowl of cereal on a Saturday morning while you sleep in a little, and staying home alone. Staying home alone starts small- a quick trip to a store or dropping a sibling off, to then going out to dinner with friends, to then staying home all day while working. This is when finding a babysitter all the time stops and the constant “I don’t know, let me see if I can find a sitter” can finally end. It’s a huge freedom in a way for parents when all of their children get to this stage. Yet, for us we will possibly never get to this stage. Our son, at 14, we are there, but our daughter at 16 we are not. And yes we have AMAZING people who watch our daughter, and I am so grateful for them as they love and adore her just as we do, but still always the constant need. This need isn’t just so we can go on date nights or out with friends, though we do need that too, this can be simple things as we want to watch our son at a competition and she can’t sit through it all and we want to be able to actually watch and enjoy the event, she could be off school and needing that constant attention and help while I still have to work, I may need to go grocery shopping or running an errand in a busy store which is hard to do and give her all the reminders she needs. And it may be an event that isn’t the right environment for her, though we try and take her to many events, there are many that we know may be disastrous. The need to still have to find a sitter gets draining and sad as you just wish she could just come with you or stay home.
Many years of does one of us stay home or do we pay a sitter for all of our sons sporting events and now band events have happened, and we know we have more years to come. We try not to think about the cost.
This happened even more recently when we had news that our summer camp for the last 5 years had staffing issues and were not taking many kids, which included our daughter. The panic set in; what do we do now. She needs to stay busy, she needs a routine, she needs constant attention, and the list goes on. I started to search and found a camp still accepting campers but 40 minutes away from our home. Thats almost 1 1/2 hours of driving twice a day!! And though we have help for transportation and care after camp here at home, what if someone needed the day off or was sick- I still have to work. Again, I was mad, frustrated, and sad at the situation. Why, at 16, am I still trying to find summer camp. These moments happen. Moments when you are mad at it all. Frustrated at the things you can’t control and feelings of is this fair. These are the times that spark those feelings and remind you that life for you looks so different than others. Yet it’s also times like these, after the initial anger and sadness, that you remember how far we’ve come. Remember our life does look different and we have some amazing people to support and love us, and embrace our life and ALL that comes with it. And then that’s when it clicks in place. When 2 people who we have met through this journey and have now become friends decide to work with our daughter for the summer. Making our own summer camp of activities, outings, and fun! And you realize it’s going to all work out. She’s going to have an epic summer!
And yes in this moment when it all works out you are thankful, and yes there will be moments again when a sitter can’t be found and plans have to be canceled or changed, but yes that I always realize how truly lucky we are to have some amazing people who will come care for our daughter and I never have to worry, they truly love her and make her feel like she is the best. These are the moments that make this journey a little easier.
