Better to Remain Silent
This is part 9 of a 14 part series describing my professional philosophy. Part 8 can be found here.
Think back to a recent meeting in which you were about to wrap up early and move on to more pressing tasks. And then suddenly, that one person had to chime in for the first time all session with either the most outlandish statement or question that added a fresh ten minutes to the length of the call.
It probably didn’t take you long to think of the last time it happened. It’s so annoying to the point of physical pain, right? Hopefully, that person wasn’t you!
I’ve been that person a few times, but I know I am — like the nerdy kid in the front row of your 6th grade class reminding the teacher that they hadn’t assigned homework yet. Yeah, that kid got beat up on the playground a lot. But they probably own a multi-billion-dollar unicorn now too.
C’est la vie.
Back to today’s point, number 8 of my 12-point tenets for success:
“Better to remain silent and to be thought a fool than to open mouth and remove all doubt.” Abraham Lincoln
Good ol’ Honest Abe lays out some smack talk that needs to be an acknowledgement every attendee should click ‘I agree’ to before joining any online session or in-person meeting.
This is a hard one for many.
On the one hand, there is no such thing as a dumb question.
Sure, and the customer is ALWAYS right too, huh?
No, seriously. When I conduct workshops or meetings, I post a short Rules of Engagement (RoE) for everyone to see and understand. I value questions — no matter how dumb people may think the questions are.
But that’s not what we’re talking about here is it?
No. The kind of questions I’m referring to are the kind which were answered earlier in the call and some schmo is just starting to pay attention to the call! [Refer to Point 7 of the 12-point tenets for success — There is No Such Thing as Multi-tasking!] Or, the kind of questions that are not even remotely associated to the topic being discussed.
Yeah THOSE kind of questions.
All questions are reasonable — to a point.
There are also the statements which some make on virtual or in-person meetings — similar to the description of questions above: the statements are redundant or irrelevant.
I could go on and on and on. But you get it — you experience it way too much.
Share this powerful quote — just blurt it out in the middle of the call and see who gets upset by it. That’s usually who needed to hear it.
Put it at the start of the call as part of the RoE you’ll incorporate into all your calls now because it’s the greatest idea you’ve heard of since the automated mouse-jiggler.
However, you introduce it, be mindful that not everyone will appreciate the nuance about the quote. You will need to include a tactful statement such as, “While we all value everyone’s input, we ask that you hold questions until we reach the Q&A section at which I am sure it will have been answered by then. Please enter all questions into the chat section for later discussion.” Yadda, yadda, yadda.
It’s simple, it’s direct, it should minimize the BS a bit. But there are those fools out there that have NO IDEA they are the fool. You should refer them to some EQ training to practice ‘self-awareness’.
Whomever needs to hear it, however you choose to deliver it, and for whatever reason you’re trying to improve, no one really likes being told to STFU (you shouldn’t need to look this one up). Share Abe’s quote instead and just move on. If you say it enough times, people should get the drift.