Pence Starts Cult in White House
Mike Pence has always stood by his religion, and gained mass attention during the campaign for his religious beliefs and how they relate to gay rights/marriage (he’s against them). Pence has remained steadfast in his beliefs, and has taken his strong commitment to christianity to Washington with his creation of the Striving for Zion Church located in the west wing of the White House.
As you can see in the photo, the Striving for Zion Cult is small, but Pence can assure everyone it is in fact growing. Pence says that with, “a strong grassroots campaign, which was the cornerstone of the Trump Presidential Election, we can take Striving for Zion across the nation and even the world. Hell, we already got two Asian kids to join. Who says we can’t get more?”.
Pence says their recruitment team has already started to lay the groundwork to recruit more members. Striving for Zion has already started contacting Pence’s old stomping grounds at homosexual conversion camps across the midwest to recruit new members. Pence says, “The members of these camps show a dedication to the lord that is beyond anything. I should know. I was once a camp member and look at me now!”.
Pence’s church spokeswoman, Stacey O’Hara (pictured below) says that she has the “grit”, “tenacity”, and “look” to take this cult to the masses. And if her eyebrows are any indication of her tenacity, then I think we can all agree that Striving for Zion is sure to be the next big cult to hit the US in years.
