Parents!!! Please Stop Killing Your Children 😒😒😒

I had the opportunity to speak to students and their parents about “The role family had to play in Developing a Child’s Future Relationships”. Spent a great deal of time talking about how failed parent- child relationships today eventually created the “Bad Kids” of tomorrow. Suffice to say, I got next to no applauses. Why? Well, African parents are petty and well the children were too scared to back me up in front of their parents 😂😂😂 but oh well, here are some of the points I raised.

Stop Threatening your Children

“I brought you into this world, I can just as easily take you out” Haaaaaa, na so e easy? Even as bad as the Judiciary is in Nigeria, you’d still end up in jail if you kill your child. Assuming your neighbors don’t lynch you first 😒. “Continue misbehaving, I will not pay your school fees” lol please like you won’t run mad after sitting at home with your children for 1 week?

Beating is not!!! I repeat, Beating is not the way to a child’s heart.

I can’t say this enough, who beating don help? There’s only so many ways you can beat a child before the child realizes that

  1. You can’t kill him/her
  2. You won’t kill him/her

Please! Please!! & Please!!! There are more effective ways to discipline your children. I hear reducing their allowance/ seizing their PlayStation/ Switching off the Wireless Router is the new “In” thing in the abroad 😏

We👏🏾 do👏🏾 not👏🏾 want👏🏾 to👏🏾 fight👏🏾 you👏🏾

Self preservation is a human instinct. If you raise a belt to hit me, common sense demands that I try to prevent you from doing so. Please do not take it as a challenge to break out the new wrestling moves. It’s not a fight, it’s just Self Preservation.

Look at me!!! You will not die if you tell your children “I love You”

Really, your heart will not explode into a million pieces of frozen Mountain Dew if you just look your children in the eyes & tell them “I love You

“Have you eaten?” is not remotely the same as “I am Sorry”.

Like really you won’t die if you said sorry 😑😑😑

What is wrong with you?

Is still not an acceptable way to ask “Are you alright?” “Is anything the matter?” “Is anything bothering you?” Or “Is there something on your mind?” I realize now that there’s a way African parents will ask you these questions and it’d still sound like an insult. Oh well 😪

“It’s not me you’re doing o, one day you’d have children and they will do the same to you”

Uhhhh, are you talking out of experience or is that something they teach all parents to say to their misbehaving children at Adult Sunday School?

There’s a big ass difference between talking to/at your children and talking with your children.

Talking to your children requires only that you have a voice. Talking with your children requires that you come to a level of understanding, a common ground so to speak with your children.

Religion will not raise “Good” Children.

Many parents try to compensate for their bad parenting with spirituality. Religion will not raise your children for you, that’s your job 😒😒😒

It👏🏾 is👏🏾 not👏🏾 your👏🏾 job👏🏾 to👏🏾 tell👏🏾 them👏🏾 who👏🏾 to👏🏾 worship👏🏾

We live in a world where you’re Christian/Muslim & what have you, simply cause your parents happened to be those things when they decided to procreate & have you. Let’s not even lie, growing up, most of us went to Church/Mosque/Temple not cause we liked “God”, but cause our parents would smite us on God’s behalf if we didn’t go. I am of the belief that children shouldn’t be exposed to religion until they can decide for themselves. Churches, scrap Sunday School & set up a daycare facility 😒

Keep your stereotypes to yourself!!!

Like really, you hear the darnedest things coming out of the mouths of children and the next thing you hear is “It has to be true cause my mum said so”. Like can these children grow and experience life for themselves? No child should have to think that all Edo People “fly at night” 😑

We get it every African parent was a genius in school.

So why didn’t your child inherit your brain? Odé 😒😒😒. Better still, why don’t you use the time you spend beating your children wisely & actually teach them something?

Insults? Really?? Name calling at your age???

We get it, children can be a handful, sometimes you just want to say “f*ck it”, hug their necks tightly with your fingers and never let go (please refer to paragraph one for my views on Domestic violence), but please pipe down with the name calling. No matter how much your child annoys you, keep the names where they belong, in the recycle bin next to your brain 😒

Put your hands down & stop pointing at people on the street.

You!!! Yes You, there’s this thing parents like to do, where they point at random people you know and be like “Don’t end up like him o, he’s wayward” or “Can’t you be like So so & So”. Just stop it!!!

It’s okay to Say “I don’t know”

Really!!! Your child brings a question you have no idea about, switch off the TV, look the child right in the eye and say “I don’t know, bring me my iPad, let’s ask Google”. Don’t be that parent who seems to know it all but in reality, Your middle names are Jon & Snow 😒. Oh and please don’t be one of those parents who beats their children for presenting them a “Stupid Question”.

Be real with your children!!!

You know that game you wanted, we can’t afford it just yet, maybe in a month or 2. Don’t leave them hanging with “I’d think about it”. We all know you won’t and somehow you’d find a way to tell us, we don’t read nearly as much as you did back in the day, Mr Top-of-The-Class Akingbade 😑

The talk? Yes that talk, Have it with your children.

Sex Education is not the leading cause of teenage pregnancy, silence is!!! Have the talk with your children and please none of that “If a boy should look at your pant” crap.

When your children tell you stuff, believe them.

African parents always seem to have a slap on standby, waiting for some random person to say “Your child doesn’t have respect”. They’d readily believe the word of a stranger, but when their child says “That teacher at school is looking at me funny”, they do nothing, till the child comes home one day with blood stained panties 😒

At the risk of sounding very cheesy, I’d like to end with this “Believe in your children”, whatever that means to you…

I Remain

Ochuko A. Akpomudjere

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