It is not an unusual phenomenon to have what amounts to be ‘survivor's remorse’ since not being precisely objectified in the same, overt, and ridiculous ways in which other women have been.
Although, I would enthusiastically encourage you both to continue to reach out, speak out, and make known that this is not okay whether the abuse is happening to you, or you are observing it. Abusive objectification, nonconsensual and unwanted overtures, and physical sexually charged abuse (both physical and verbal) causes damage not only to the people at whom the violence is directed, but also those (men and women) who happen to be in the sphere of this wrongdoing also “get-it-on-them.”
Because this type of abuse is so radioactive, one needs only to come near it to be made ill…
As in my previous comment, the readers may observe that I am a single, white, not-so-middle-aged man without children. I reiterate that, to make a point insofar as one need not be female, married, father, brother, or even on relatable terms with one’s mother to have a moral compass. That compass seems to spin like a top when dealing with what seems like the systematic subjugation of more than half of the human race.
Has it become so difficult, so unmanly, and so-called ‘too politically correct’ for a man to show kindness, compassion, strength through vulnerability, and inclusion? I question, are we living in an age where 32% of this American Experiment believes that a leader should not first be a servant to those they intend on leading?
As a former combat veteran — I found myself alongside a (slightly) over 37-year-old Lieut. Cmdr. in the Naval Special Warfare Group during an engagement. I will spare you the details — when I asked him what he was doing next to me, and not with the command vehicle; the following words he spoke, shaped my worldview — I was 20. Please, allow me to share them: “How should I require any of you to follow me if I am not first willing to remove your boots, and wash your feet? If I am opposed to doing it, how my going to ask a petty officer to do it?”
Perhaps, if more leaders thought that way, and rightfully took the time to mentor young men to follow in those (types of) footsteps — we could break free from these massive societal ‘norms,’ and began behaving like the mutual helpmates that 60 million years of evolution intend us to be.
Oh, and knowing your own worth, is astonishingly elegant!