5 Wilderness Mistakes I Made So You Don’t Have To
There’s something about being out in the wild that makes you relax and disconnect from common sense. I learned to always be prepared, but there are a few dumb things I’ve done that even the Girl Scouts couldn’t have anticipated.
1) Running Out of Water
Okay, maybe the Scouts could have seen this one coming, but to be fair to me, I had 3.5 liters of water with me when I started my hike in Shenandoah National Park. That’s plenty of water for an average nine-mile hike. But this trail had enough rocks on it to put a quarry to shame. It took a lot longer because I go very slow on rocky descents to avoid breaking things like my ankles or my face. I ran out of water halfway down, which turned out to be more than an hour away from my car. I arrived with a throat so dusty and dry, I drank four bottles of water on the spot.
Lesson learned: Always bring more water than usual when you hike a trail for the first time.
2) Leaving My Phone By A Waterfall (Twice)
On two separate hikes, I left my phone sitting next to some gorgeous waterfalls I was admiring and taking pictures of. Both times, I got super lucky and another hiker picked it up and got it back to me. My brain has shoddier memory capacity than my phone when I’m wiped out. So if something isn’t attached to me, it’s liable to get left behind or fall out of my pocket without me noticing.
Lesson learned: Always store your phone and car keys in a pocket or bag with a zipper. Better yet, get a new phone, so you can use the old one as your adventure phone.
3) Refusing to Use Trek Poles in the Mountains
My ankles are made of glass. Even at my lowest weight and peak fitness level, I’ve always been prone to ankle strains and sprains. So ever since I took a tumble down the Appalachian Trail in the Smokey Mountains, I’ve had my trusty walking stick with me. Something about the smooth wood and rustic appearance made it feel more natural to me than those shiny trek poles. I thought trek poles made folks look like overenthusiastic tourists who took a wrong turn on the way to a ski resort. But then I went on a hike where I was oh-so-very-careful coming down a rough trail only have my ankle buckle on the side the walking sick was NOT on and fall face-first into a tree. I bought my first pair of trek poles as soon as I got home.
Lesson learned: You can learn to live with looking silly if it means you don’t have to go through ankle PT for the 500th time.
4) Locking My Keys in the Car…in the Mojave Desert
During my adventures across the United States, I’m very lucky to have only locked my keys in my car once. But of course I was in the Mojave Desert and managed to lock my water in the car too. Fortunately, I did this during the day and Ranger Jimmy helped me aherm…jimmy the lock. It took a doorstop, a screwdriver, and a fly swatter, but we managed to get the door open and I was able to get on my way without having to wait for roadside assistance in the broiling heat.
Lesson learned: Strap a bottle of water to yourself whenever you’re in the desert and watch your keys like a hawk. Also, learn how to break into your own car. It’s honestly not that hard.
5) Ticking Off A Sheep
There is an obvious need for safety around bears and other large animals like horses, bison, and pumas. More needs to be said about the roving bands of maniacs known as bighorn sheep. Sheep tend to be more of a nuisance than a threat. They march into campsites with impunity like a drunken parade of frat bros, eating everything in sight, trampling your stuff, and taking a piss wherever they like. You can usually get them to go away by shouting at them or beeping your car horn. I was on a nice little hike to see a waterfall in Glacier National Park when I came around a bend and found a couple of bighorn sheep coming down the trail I wanted to go up. I gave them plenty of distance and waited to see what they would do. I was hoping all I’d have to do is wait them out and then go see my waterfall. The ram trotted a few steps down the trail, then back up the trail, then down the trail again. He repeated this dance several times for me and one other hiker who was coming up the trail. We were getting tired of waiting for the dude to make up his mind and started to settle down to munch on some snacks. And that’s precisely when the ram fixed his beady eyes on us and charged down the trail. I hauled ass so fast, I made it to the parking lot in less than half the time it took me to get out there.
Lesson learned: Don’t let your guard down around sheep. They’re not that bright, but they can be really mean.
Have a good laugh? Learn something? Then back my next crazy adventure to complete the Raleigh Xtreme Hike.
