Confession: I Don’t Miss My Kids *That* Much

Meah Culpa
Jul 28, 2017 · 4 min read

So the originals, a.k.a Magnolia and Allman, have been staying with their grandparents in North Georgia going on three weeks. I’ll be reunited with them on Sunday afternoon and while I do miss them to a degree, I have a confession. I don’t miss my kids that much.

On one hand, I feel guilty and un-motherly claiming that I don’t really miss my kids, but on the other hand, I have to be honest. With a husband in the military who is either on the road or deployed most of the time and family that is pretty far down the East Coast, the responsibility and minutiae of raising four small kids fall almost entirely on me. I’m not looking for sympathy or condolences, but just a recognition that It. Is. A. Lot.

That’s not to say I don’t love my children. Lord knows, I count my blessings every night and can’t imagine what my life would be like without my family. However, when their grandparents kindly offer to watch them for extended periods, I’ll quickly raise my hand and say, “Yes, please, take them!”

And don’t get me wrong, I do miss them. They’re my very own offspring, after all. So in case you were getting the vibe that I’m completely un-mothery for this confession, read on.

I miss Magnolia being my inquisitive side-kick who is always quick to interpret the needs of her little sisters. I miss Allman’s voice first thing in the morning when he wakes up ready to go and I have no idea what the first words out of his mouth will be, but do know that they will undoubtedly be hilarious. I miss Magnolia drawing attention to the details of our surroundings that I’m usually too distracted to notice. I miss Allman’s wild cackle when he finds something amusing. I miss Magnolia’s whimpers in the morning when she needs just a little more time to wake up to the world.

I do miss my kids. (I’ve also talked to them regularly during their time away.)

What I don’t miss is the chaos of all four of them together.

When you have multiple kids and remove one or two from the bunch, magic happens. Suddenly, the twins have become my singular focus and life feels more balanced as I’m not literally being dragged in four different directions on a daily basis. The girls notice the difference. They enjoy having the spot light and, as a result, act a lot more content. The extra time with them gives me time to pick up on nuances of their personalities that I otherwise may be too busy to notice. Honestly, the past weeks with them have been a joy (in no small part because they still nap and I’ve been indulging in an afternoon nap on an almost daily basis).

Meanwhile, I can rest assured because I know the originals are having the time of their lives. Grandparent land, at least in their case, is an extraordinary place.

Just picture it:

A house nestled on a six-acre wooded property at the foothills of the Appalachian mountains. Not only is there a swimming pool right in the back yard, but also their own personal kid sized tractor. Their grandmother, a.k.a. Sassy, sent both of them to Vacation Bible School and even sent Magnolia to a local art camp.

As if all of that is not enough, they just got back from a three-day mini vacation to Pigeon Forge where they got to take part in the Dixie Stampede and enjoy 7.5 hours at Dollywood without their little sisters making things difficult. (What can I say? S.‘s roots are deeply Southern and Dollywood is a huge Southern attraction.)

Then there’s the icing on the cake. Before I pick them up Sunday afternoon, they will be finishing off their visit with a trip to a friend’s lake house with tons of kids to play with.

Geeeeeez.

Do you think I could even begin to give them these many fun experiences while maintaining a house, a marriage, my yoga teaching schedule, grocery shopping, and on and on? You get it. I couldn’t. I couldn’t possibly.

And you know what?

That’s ok.

It’s ok for them and it’s ok for me and it’s exactly why I don’t miss my kids that much.

Catching up on rest and recharging from the grind of daily life is wonderful. Knowing that my kids are having a blast while doing so just sweetens the deal.

So, yes, I’ll be beyond excited when I pick them up on Sunday and I can’t wait to hear about the past few weeks from their very own voices. But that absolutely does not mean I spent the past three weeks pining over how much I’ve missed them.

S. and I were talking to a couple across the street the other day and they mentioned they think the key to a lasting marriage is sometimes getting away from the kids and embracing the fact that you are still a couple.

Yes, yes, YES!!

These past few weeks have been an opportunity to do just that and, well, it’s done.

In fact, we had a week in Jamaica being a couple with no kids. Then we had a week at home being a smaller family with just the twins. Then S. had to go away on a work trip for a week and I’ve spent a lot of time with the twins and also with myself.

So I’ll end with another confession. I love being a couple and a smaller family and having time to myself, but I’m ready to be a big, crazy family again.

p.s. Thank you Burly and Sassy!!

Meah Culpa

Written by

I’m a born again, yoga loving mother doing her best to stay mindful, faithful and present amidst the chaos of raising four actual humans.

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