Meet My Tribe

Meah Culpa
Jul 20, 2017 · 8 min read

Since I’ll be referring to them regularly (as they teach me so much), it makes good sense to introduce my tribe, my wolf pack, my family.

I assure you they’re a lively bunch, so very lively that I’m not sure writing about them will do them justice, but I shall try.

First, meet Papa Bear. S. Honeycutt, the love of my life. We’ve recently celebrated seven years of marriage and I cannot imagine my life without him. A co-worker perfectly summed him up as a toasted marshmallow as he has a hard exterior made even more intimidating by full tattoo sleeves of some pretty dark (eh… demonic) images. He also speaks quite loudly (and curses quite frequently) in some sort of Southern, North Georgia mountain drawl that could only be recognized as his voice. Because he’s firm in his beliefs, he’s quick to assert his opinions if he notices any type of injustice, big or small. So, I suppose that would be the “toasty” part of the marshmallow. But, inside the burnt exterior is the most tender-hearted, sensitive man I’ve ever known. He is beyond loyal to those he loves and always finds good humor in life’s situations. He is an introvert at the core, although he may fool you into thinking he’s an extrovert by the way he can easily mingle and relate and provide his full attention to whoever he’s conversing with (even though he’s a little ADD). Just don’t ask him to locate our kids while you’re talking to him ;)

I know everyone thinks their husband is the best, but mine really is (at least for me). We’re both come from unique (dysfunctional?) family situations, don’t tend to line up live’s big events in any conventional order and share a somewhat vulgar sense of humor accompanied with an overwhelming desire to do better than those that came before us. We make a nice fit. We’ve been through more together in seven years than I ever thought I’d go through in a lifetime. I’m glad for it all because through all the twists and turns and ups and downs, he continues to inspire me and nudge (sometimes push) me out of my comfort zone (which is VERY comfortable to me, by the way). Without this man, I would not be the woman I am and I could not become the woman I hope to be.

Next, the bear cubs. S. and I have been blessed (admittedly, it doesn’t feel that way at all moments) with four children inside of five years. They range from ages two to seven. We have Magnolia (age 7) followed by Allman (age 5) a mere 17 months later. They can’t imagine life without one another and I can’t imagine life without either one of them. S. and I had our hands full with these two (lovingly called the “originals”) when the biggest surprise of our life (to date) happened… TWINS! So along came Kali and Layla (ages 2, coming up on 3). They arrived when Magnolia was four and Allman was two and have rocked our world ever since.

Magnolia has probably had more impact on me than any other human in my life. I’m sure most mothers feel a special connection to their first born, but in Maggie’s case, I can honestly say that the connection is so strong that I feel as if the entire trajectory of my life changed upon her arrival. Pre-Magnolia, I was a young, self-centered kid living my life on my own terms without too much concern for the consequences of my actions. Then, BOOM, going into my junior year of college I find out that I’m pregnant by a man I’ve only been dating for six months. Talk about a paradigm shift. What I find most amazing is that even though I’ve been plagued with severe anxiety most of my life, the moment I found out I was carrying her, I didn’t debate for a second about whether or not to keep her. I experienced a “peace that surpasses all understanding” and somehow knew that not only would I have her and raise her, but that ultimately by doing so all things would work out for good. Praise be to God, I was correct on both accounts.

However, what I didn’t expect was what an amazing child little baby Magnolia would become. She is spunky, sensitive, curious beyond measure, and so naturally intelligent that I can’t even believe she’s mine. She feels very deeply (so much so that it can be quite difficult to talk her off the ledge when she’s upset). To top it off, she has an innate will power that I really admire. A lot of things don’t come naturally to her, but it inspires me to watch her keep trying (and trying and trying…) until she figures them out. Whenever I find myself in doubt about God’s mysterious plans, all I have to do is pause and take a look at this wonderfully gifted seven-year-old girl and realize that she is very much supposed to be here, regardless of whether or not I felt prepared to have her.

Then there’s Allman. This little guy is a mess in the most adorable and, simultaneously, most annoying way possible. He’s exactly what I imagine my husband being like as a five-year-old boy. He marches to the beat of his own drum and really doesn’t care about pleasing any sort of crowd. While Mags is interested in a myriad of topics, this guy chooses one or two and obsesses over them at nauseum. Some people will tell you he never talks, but his family knows that once he’s comfortable with you, he NEVER stops talking. In fact, I think he’d have a promising future as a sports announcer as he loves to state the obvious over and over again. He’s stubborn beyond measure and although he has tremendous athletic potential, he has no interest in paying attention to the rules of any sport or game (hopefully this is just the five-year-old boy in him). It’s challenging to get Allman to smile for pictures, but he has a devilish grin and a distinct cackle that can light up a room. He also has a distinct whine that can make an entire room cringe if he chooses to use it.

Allman is incredibly moody (sometimes I think I’m in an abusive relationship with my son), but I just can’t help but love the little guy because the moment he pisses me off, he quickly recovers by coming in for a cuddle and telling me how much he loves me. I’m interested to see what the future holds for this little guy. The potential is there for him to be wildly successful or to end up in jail. Obviously, I’m praying for the wild success. He’s been attached to me from Day One (so much so that he downright refused to take a bottle AT ALL for a full year) and really loved his place as the youngest child. Then, BOOM, he became a middle child sandwiched between an older sister and two baby twin sisters over night.

Oh, the twins. Kali and Layla are very much their own people (in fact, they are complete opposites in many ways), but it’s virtually impossible for me to think of one without the other. They were born a mere minute apart and spent their first month of life sleeping side by side to soothe one another. Where one goes, the other is usually close behind and together they come up with more horrible ideas than any single toddler ever could. Coming up on the end of the terrible two’s, Kali is tall, lean, brunette and curly haired whereas Layla is shorter, stockier, and blonde with a head full of stick straight hair. Temperament wise, Kali is very clingy and whiny whereas Layla is frighteningly independent and bossy to the extreme.

Kali loves to stay still and manipulate her surroundings and tends to be timid around new people or situations. She also tends to be pretty quiet unless she’s throwing one of her epic temper tantrums. She sings or hums song lyrics more often than she talks and once she’s accepted you, there is no child more loyal. This little ball of muscle is ALWAYS up for a snuggle.

Layla (affectionately nicknamed “Layla Dozer”) doesn’t tend to stay in one place for long unless there is a book in front of her. She runs more often than she walks and is always up to something. She talks nonstop and doesn’t know a stranger. To date, the only things she shows any sort of fear towards are animals at the petting zoo and the dentist. Otherwise, she’s wide open.

The most amusing quirk about the twins to me (other than the fact that I do, indeed, have twins), is that the second they came out of the womb, each girl was practically identical to one of their older siblings. Baby Kali and baby Allman appear identical (people assumed poor Kali was a boy for the first year of her life) and baby Layla and baby Maggie appear identical as well. I will probably forever feel that being a mother of four and especially being a mother of twins is tied to my identity.

So, that’s my tribe in a nutshell (a quite large nutshell). Having a tribe is interesting. In any given moment I can feel as if I’m overflowing with love while simultaneously feeling like I need some f-ing space. They drive me crazy, they make me laugh, they make me wonder what I did with all my time before they came into my life. But, most of all, they inspire me. Because of my husband and these kids, I have a reason to be my best self. After all, they’re watching and listening and, ultimately, learning. This is an intimidating thought, but I imagine it’s a thought all parents have been confronted with at one point or another. Stay tuned because this surely won’t be the last you hear of these humans that fill up so much of my life.

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