Hi Sylvain! I was drawn by the title of this piece. I would love to see more Star Wars references! You set up so many awesome opportunities to throw some fun one-liners in and bring it to life. I would shoot for one reference per section to add entertainment value. For example, this line “But (Captain Obvious’s back in the place), days only last 24 hours.”
Parentheses cut the flow here. Instead of Captain Obvious, I would love another Star Wars reference like…
“You can’t pilot the Millennium Falcon and shoot at incoming Stormtropper ships*. Are you Hon or Chewie? Decide. Specialization is key.”
*Insert name of enemy ship.
Also, two more quick things:
- Fix grammar here — “That’s practically impossible”
2. Under focus, this line appears again- “20% of work gets 80% of the results.” I think you can omit this part here and start right at the sentence, “Focus on your strengths…”
Great work, looking forward to seeing it published!