THE KOHINOOR QUEST: PART TWO
After a lavish supper at the Buckingham Palace, the girls were having a chat with the Queen.
She smiled and commented:” I apologize; sometimes it gets difficult for us to catch your accent.”
Sonal: Na ji na…Accent nahi, humaare ghar pe toh Santro hai.
The Queen’s smile wavered just a bit and then attempted to change the topic. “Indian ladies have such nice eyes, such long fingers….beautiful I must say…”
Medhal:” Toh aur kya! Tabhi toh hum Bhindi achha banate hain!”
Annal:” Yaar tum log kya baatein kiye jaa rahe ho, mujhe toh itni angrezi hi samajh nahi aati.”
Sagar: “ Arre pagal who ladyfingeron ki tareef kar rahi hain humaare desh ki.”
Annal: “Oh…Yaar yeh log itni dheere dheere kyun baat karte hain yaar, kuch sunai nahi deta.”
Sonal: “ Ab toh Baba Ramdev ko yahan hi laana padega. Sirf wahi hain jo is mulk ko theek kar payenge.”
Medhal:” Elizabeth ji, we have to talk.”
The Queen seemed confused; she was out of ideas to make more small talk.
Medhal:”Ji, we want Kohinoor diamond back.”
Queen: “Excuse me?”
Sonal said “Okay ji”. With that she got up from her chair and moved to a side.
Queen:” I did not mean that. Please take a seat.”
Annal: “ Arre waah! Matlab hum yeh sofa ghar le jaa sakte hain!”
Sagar:” Arre lekin airport waale log bade hi kanjoos kisam ke hote hain. Yaad nahi abhi aate time jo gulaab jaamun ka dabba leke aaye the, who toh unhone hi rakh liya tha.”
Annal: “Offo…koi baat nahi na, is baar hum ek seat ki ticket kam lenege. Bol denge ki chauthi seat hum khud leke aayenge. Phir koi problem nahi hogi.”
Queen, alarmed: “I do not understand. Has the Indian Government sent you here for the diamond? There has been no such truce. Why should we hand over the diamond to you?”
Sonal:” Haan, aakhir hum aapke hain kaun?”
The Queen just sat staring at them, perplexed.
Sagar:”Le! Lagta hai is desh mein koi bhi picturein nahi dekhta. Agli baar aayenge toh badi saari DVD leke aayenge.”
Medhal: “Lekin yaar badi mehengi hoti hain.”
Annal: “Koi baat nahi, pirated waali le aayenge.”
Sonal: “Lekin Pirates of the Caribbean waali picture mein toh woh DVD toh nahi bechte the. Uski ek aur part aa rahi hai kya? Kya yaar….abhi se story mat batao.”
Sagar: “Elizabeth ji aap itni gussa kyun ho rahi hain? No need to get angry ji. Angry toh we are. Indian diamond should not be in Britain. You gave us independence, you should give diamond too.”
The Queen was taken aback by this sudden twist in the conversation. It made no sense; they seemed like innocent little girls. How could they be officials from India? The Indian Embassy too had not given them any such information.
She got up swiftly and said “Excuse me my darlings. I need to have a quick word with Billy.”
She glided out of the room gracefully like a queen should.
The four girls kept looking at her in amazement.
Sonal:”Kya tum log bhi wahi soch rahi hun jo main soch rahi hun?”
Medhal: “haan…yeh log jaanwaron ko kitna pyaar karte hain. Raani hain lekin phir bhi apni billi ki raaye maang rahi hain.”
Annal: “Meri aankhon mein toh aansu aa gaye.”
Sagar: “Humaare desh ko kuch seekhna chahiye inse. Agli baar hum India se billiyan leke aayenge aur train karwaayenge Elizabeth ji se.”
Meanwhile, in one of the bed chambers of the palace, Queen Elizabeth was consulting her grandson about this absurd situation that had crept up. William, angered by the turn of events stormed out of the bed chamber and into the guest hall.
“Are you trying to take advantage of our hospitality?” he bellowed at the four girls.
Annal:” But ji we didn’t go to any hospital. Don’t shout at us ainwai!”
William: “Guards! Escort these ladies outside please.”
Sagar: “ Lekin mehmaan bhagwaan ka roop hota hai, aise kaise nikaal rahe ho apne ghar se? Chalo yaar, apni toh idhar koi izzat hi nahi hai.”
Sonal:”Yaar maine toh abhi tak sabke autograph bhi nahi liye!
By midnight, they were back in their hotel room. Disappointed. Very disappointed. Their vision of this great nation and their great people was once again shattered.
Medhal: “Kya yeh sab humaare saath isliye hua kyonki hum log dahi khaake ghar se nahi nikle the?”
Sonal: “Shayad yahi bhagwan ki chaal hoti hai. Dahi nahi khaoge toh raita phail jaayega. Pata nahi bhagwaan logon ko milk products se itna kya pyaar hai.”
Annal: “Nahi behenon, hum aise haar nahi maan sakte.”
Sagar: “Haan, humein idhar se rasta nikaalna hoga.”
Sonal:” Tab toh kisi construction waali company se baat karni padegi!”
Annal:” Ek idea hai. Yeh William ji toh raja log hain. Aur raja logon ko khush karne pe woh log muh maanga inaam dete hain. Toh humein unhein khush karna hoga kisi tarah. Phir inaam ke badle hum unse Kohinoor maang lenge!”
The other three chorused: “Haan! Yeh sahi hai!”
Delighted with their brainstorm, they soon fell asleep.
Some miles away from the hotel, a little lamp flickered in the Buckingham Palace.
Queen: “Somehow, I just don’t feel right.”
William: “After what happened today, I’m afraid to say none of us can feel right about it. They did seem to be innocent young ladies. But…” He left the words hanging in the air.
Queen: “But we’ll surely have to do something about it. Never judge a book by its cover. Maybe these girls seem innocent. But what if they are not? Terrorism is already gripping the world by its deathly claws all over the world. We’d be fools if we were to ignore a sign like this. Who knows, this could be just about any orthodox outfit or terror group raising its head in England!”
The alarm in her voice showed in William’s eyes.
Queen: “We shall have to do something, lad. And quick. We must start keeping a tab on them. Record where they go, what they do, who they meet.”
William: “Yes, but we can’t put the Forces behind them, they’ll think I’m mad to not only ask them to follow four young women but follow the same four women I myself invited to the palace.”
Queen: “Yes, that indeed is ridiculous.”
William looked out the window, lost in thought. There had to be a simple solution.
William:” Look at the weather, there’s going to be a storm soon!”
“Quiet an occasion.” The Queen said sourly.
William:” I meant, they won’t be able to go anywhere tonight or for a few days to come. Surely their flights would be cancelled if they were to take one back to India. And surely, that would be a bad financial setback for them. We can take advantage of this situation! We can call them home, let them stay here for a few days, extend our hospitality and keep them right under our noses. We could probably even hire them as governesses for Andy! That way we can keep a tab on them if they turn out to be wrong people. And if they turn out innocent, well, that won’t hurt us anyway.”
Queen: “That’s a splendid idea! Now THAT’s quiet an occasion!”
Knock knock knock.
Sonal:” Arre yaar! Subah subah kaun aa jata hai darwaaze pe!”
Annal:” Chilla mat sone de!”
Sagar leapt up from the bed and went to open the door “Kahin William ji ki chitthi toh nahi!”
Everybody laughed in their sleep.
Sagar opened the door and stared at the two men outside.
“Behenon, do guard bhaiyya aaye hain.”
Medhal:” Oh! Humne unhe kaha tha na ki unhein Baba Ramdev ke paas leke jaayenge, shayad usi ke liye aaye honge!”
Sagar:” Behenon utho. William ji ki chitthi aayi hai.”
“KYA?!” they chorused.
Sagar: “Haan…aur…umm… woh humein naukraaniyaan banana chahta hai.”