Getting To Yes With Yourself — Summary And Review

The Golden Rules For Negotiations

  1. Put Yourself in Your
     Shoes. The first step is to understand your worthiest opponent, yourself. It is
     all too common to fall into the trap of continually judging yourself. The
     challenge instead is to do the opposite and listen empathetically for underlying
     needs, just as you would with a valued partner or client.
  • Develop Your Inner
     BATNA. Almost all of us find it difficult not to blame others with whom we come
     into conflict. The challenge is to do the opposite and to take responsibility
     for your life and relationships. More specifically, it is to develop your inner
     BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement), to make a commitment to
     yourself to take care of your needs independently of what the other does or
     does not do.
  • Reframe Your Picture.
     A natural fear of scarcity exists in almost everyone. The challenge is to
     change how you see your life, creating your own independent and sufficient
     source of contentment. It is to see life as being on your side even when it
     seems unfriendly.
  • Stay in the Zone. It
     is so easy in the midst of conflict to get lost in resentment about the past or
     in anxieties about the future. The challenge is to do the opposite and stay in
     the present moment, the only place where you have the power to experience true
     satisfaction as well as to change the situation for the better.
  • Respect Them Even If.
     It is tempting to meet rejection with rejection, personal attack with personal
     attack, exclusion with exclusion. The challenge is to surprise others with
     respect and inclusion even if they are difficult.
  • Give and Receive. It
     is all too easy, especially when resources seem scarce, to fall into the
     win-lose trap and to focus on meeting only your needs. The final challenge is
     to change the game to a win-win-win approach by giving first instead of taking.

How To Tackle The
 Problems — Negotiating Yourself

Take Time to think for your problems. even if its sadness or happy, or
 be any other emotion dont hide it take it to public and discuss or if you dont
 think they are not mature to understand the problem. analyze yourself — by
 thinking of the same isssue and think how to solve it

Great Example-

Jamil Mahuad, former president of Ecuador and a Harvard colleague, once
 shared how he gradually learned to deal with his painful feelings by putting
 these feelings in the spotlight. “Sadness . . . was not well received
 by males in my family. When some of my ancestors were really sad, they averted
 that emotion by expressing anger,” he explained. “I had the same difficulty.
 Still it is not easy for me to connect with pain, with grief. But by
 recognizing and bringing this shadow to light, you start incorporating that
 ‘new’ part into what you are.”


Originally published at Mediabloger.