The quirks of the movie ‘Main Hoon Na’ that continue to entertain
‘Main Hoon Na’ (2004) is a Hindi-language movie directed by Farah Khan. It was her first movie as a director. The movie was very popular and had the second highest box office collection of 2004. It has continued to remain popular subsequently with reruns on television channels and availability on streaming services too.
The plot consists of two main stories. One is about an attempt being made by the Government of India to resolve the Indo-Pak issue peacefully. The attempt consists of releasing innocent Pakistani prisoners who had been imprisoned as they inadvertently crossed the Indo-Pak border. This is violently opposed by one man: Raghavan. Raghavan believes that Pakistan should not be forgiven for its crimes against Indians, and vows to never let the effort at peace succeed. He threatens to kidnap the daughter (Sanjana) of the Chief of the Indian Army Staff (General Bakshi) if the peace plans are not halted immediately. As part of an undercover operation to protect Sanjana, Major Ram Prasad Sharma joins her college as a student.
The second plot involves the search by Major Ram for his family. Ram was the illegitimate son of Brigadier Shekhar Sharma, a fact that he found out only at his father’s death bed. His father was forced to leave his wife and little son (Lakshman Prasad Sharma) to look after Ram. It was a difficult decision, but Brigadier Shekhar’s wife Madhu Sharma had made it clear that he had to choose between Ram and his ‘real’ family. Seeing that Ram had nowhere to go, since his mother had died, Shekhar chose to care for Ram. The family broke up. Shekhar tried to bring Madhu and Lakshman back several times. But Madhu did not wish to live under the same roof as Ram. After Shekhar’s death, Ram decided to make an attempt to meet his father’s estranged family. He hoped that they would accept him as their own once they got to know him.
Other than the main characters mentioned above, there is an extensive supporting cast. I love watching the tiny character details which make each of them unique. In addition to the well-written characters the movie has several other engaging features which make it a truly feel-good movie.
I have tried to list all the aspects that come to my mind:
1. The Title
The title loosely translates to ‘I am here’. Meaning, if you need me, I am here. And this is the defining feature of Ram. He takes care of people. When there is a problem, and he sees he can help, he does.
Whether it is the offer of a patient ear to Sanjana, General Bakshi’s daughter, when she talks about falling short of people’s expectation. Or jumping in to save Lakshman when his ill-thought-out scheme of capturing the school flag has failed and he is about to fall off the roof of the school. He can alternately offer a calming presence, or a protective presence, depending on what is needed of him in that moment. He is always there.
2. The dances
Farah Khan was originally a dance director, so it is no surprise that her debut movie should feature some delightful dance performances.
Most of the movie is set in a college, since Sanjana and Lakshman are both students of the same college. Instead of hiring scores of extras to play the college students, and a similar number of dancers for the numerous dance performances, Farah Khan decided to make her dancers play the role of college students too.
One dance number in particular is incredible to watch, not for the dance moves, but for the way it is shot. It is the song, ‘Chale Jaise Hawayein’. In the story, the audience is introduced to the characters of Sanjana and Lakshman through this song.
The song is filmed in a single long shot. Once you know this fact, you realize how much effort has gone into the making of it. After performing their piece one group of dancers quickly moves into their next position, off camera, while the camera is concentrating on a second group of dancers. When the camera moves back to the first group, it finds them ready. Ready to jump right into their next performance piece. The margin of error appears to be virtually nil. The team must have put in a tremendous amount of effort to achieve that seamless performance.
3. Mrs Kakkar
The character of Mrs Kakkar, the Hindi teacher, is very amusing. She has the habit of knitting in the most unusual circumstances. She is seen knitting even while walking in the school compound.
She has an even more troubling trait. If she happens to come across a young man she likes, she chats with him endlessly. The poor man’s disinterest doesn’t deter her in the least. This leads to a most amusing phenomenon. When she enters the college grounds, there is immediate and utter pandemonium with the students running in all directions to escape her. And you can almost see the crowd parting in front of her as she walks towards her unsuspecting target.
Then there is her own unique style of speaking English. It takes experience to understand it. But help is at hand. Whenever someone completely fails to understand her meaning, a particular nerdy student drops in on the conversation and translates it.
4. Professor Rasai
The sadistic Professor Rasai, seems to thoroughly enjoy himself when a student finds himself in trouble. In fact, he tricks Ram into breaking the class rules by putting his feet on the desk. When Ram reluctantly does put his feet up, Professor Rasai immediately threatens to take him to the principal’s office.
And then there is Professor Rasai’s habit of spraying copious amounts of saliva on bystanders while he talks. On the first day of class, all the front row students get ‘hit’. The next day they come to class fully equipped. We see a small umbrella, face shields, face masks, and even a pair of spectacles with wipers. Even the teachers and the principal are not spared these showers. In one scene we see the principal wiping his face with his tie after a close encounter with the professor. During the end credits of the movie, it is demonstrated how this effect was achieved.
5. The Principal
He is an impossibly forgetful person. He confides in Ram that he had wanted to join the Indian army, but he doesn’t remember the various ranks, so he didn’t try. Throughout the movie he addresses Major Ram by various names: captain, general, comrade, lance nayak, etc. Each time failing to address him by his actual rank.
6. The library scene
Lakshman excels at not excelling in college. He had failed his end-of-the-year college exam five times. He takes great pride at being the rebel who never passes. It adds to his reputation, he thinks.
Yet one day he finds himself in a position when he must visit the library to get some homework done. The students in the library are stunned to see him there. One of them actually faints and falls off his chair.
And since he is visiting the library the very first time, he is welcomed like a bride to her new home. There are flowers, and a bunch of giggling young girls, and a pot of rice that he has to overturn with his foot before taking the auspicious first step.
That scene completely makes its point. It is a watershed moment in Lakshman’s life.
7. The lesson about war
Raghavan has a team who help him carry out his nefarious plans. But Khan is his most trusted lieutenant. Khan had decided to join Raghavan because he too believed that by fighting against peace, he was fighting for his country. He believed in Raghavan’s philosophy that the Pakistani government, and the Pakistani army could not be trusted. By trying to make peace with them, Indians would make themselves sitting ducks.
However, he later realizes that Rhagavan’s ideology is actually based on his personal experiences. By joining Raghavan, Khan is not protecting India, he is merely avenging Rhagavan’s personal loss. He realizes that whatever ideologies may be preached by the leader, war is ultimately always personal.
8. The movie crew
As in Farah Khan’s other movies, the entire crew makes an appearance in small groups while the end credits roll. I have always loved how, in this manner, everyone involved in making the movie gets visibility and credit.
9. “It’s not so simple”
General Bakshi is asked by the host of a television show if merely releasing some prisoners could be expected to bring peace to the two countries. General Bakshi responds, ‘It’s not so simple’. The role of General Bakshi was played by Kabir Bedi and he delivered this line in his distinctive deep baritone voice.
I do not know the effect this statement had on the rest of the world. But I have these four words, and the voice in which they were spoken, committed to memory.
Anytime I am trying to discuss a complex topic with my family, and I want to counter someone’s point, I just say, ‘It’s not so simple’. In my closest approximations of Kabir Bedi’s voice.
I understand that not everybody is as bonkers as that. But, the movie is truly worth a watch.
