Two Poems on Grief
Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844–1889) was a very perceptive poet. He felt all things in nature acutely and had a flair for poetry at a very young age. However, his style was quite unique and not in keeping with the Victorian times that he lived in. He faced some difficulty in getting his material published. His collected works were finally published in 1918.
One of his poems is “Spring and Fall”. In this poem, a little girl, Margaret, is heartbroken to see the trees of Goldengrove lose their beautiful leaves during the fall. She is at a tender age when any loss and any change is felt deeply. The poet asks her,
“Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?”
He remarks that as one grows older, one loses the capacity to feel the sorrow of other beings. Adults when surrounded by fallen leaves may not feel even the slightest pang. However, whether we are young or old, he says, the pain of loss has the same origin. He suggests, that we mourn all losses because, deep down inside us, they remind us of our own mortality.
“It is Margaret you mourn for.”
Perhaps some of our hurry, our constant busyness, and our ever-increasing need for acquisition is an attempt to drown that call from inside us. Maybe, if we cultivate enough silence within us to be able to listen to that call, we may be able to set right our skewed priorities.
The other poem is in the public domain and is frequently read at funerals to celebrate the life of the deceased person. Its authorship is disputed. Some sources suggest that it was written by Clare Harner under the title ‘Immortality’ (published in 1934). Other sources attribute it to Mary Elizabeth Frye (attributed to her in the 1980s).
The poem is beautiful and describes how life is never-ending, though individuals may pass away. And when we perish, we are again recruited by nature to manifest in a different form.
“Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.”
It reminds me of a scene from the acclaimed Hindi language film ‘Saaransh’ (meaning ‘summary’). The parents (played by Anupam Kher and Rohini Hattangadi) return to the site where they had scattered their son’s ashes and find flowers blooming there.
When my husband and I returned home after completing the rituals following my mother-in-law’s death, we found that one of her vinca plants had bloomed. She was fond of gardening. It was a reminder to me that these are things that we leave behind: the flowers we plant, the hearts we heal, the love we give, and the lessons we impart.
The most tangible and significant effect we have on the world is through our one-on-one interactions. Effortful, time-consuming, slow-growing but long-lasting. In fact, lasting beyond our lifetime.
