When Women View Men Objectively (Part 1)
I am suddenly finding myself viewing men objectively. Here’s the story behind it.
It is no secret that humans are wired to like humans with superior genetic quality and developmental stability. We subconsciously pay attention to these things when searching for a partner. And I am sure when I decided to marry my partner, I would have done the same albeit subconsciously. It’s almost 4 years now, I am still attracted to my husband and would love to have his baby.
However, since we can’t have one, we are thinking of various other ways it can be done. Our major discussions revolve around woes and virtues of hormone treatments (his idea), semen donor (no ways) and adoption (my idea), but all of them come with so many complications that at the end of the day, we are still indecisive about the way ahead. This is how it has been since last 2 years and now I am on the verge of taking a ‘now or never’ stand.
I am constantly thinking and talking about babies. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t feel that way; probably it’s a man thing. So I shut my trap and go deep into my imaginative world. In my imagination, I am sprinkling baby powder on my baby’s body, I am waking up my husband in the midnight to change the baby’s diaper, my daughter and the new baby are fighting over something silly, my dogs are smelling the baby with suspicion and all of us are having a good laugh about it.
During one of those imaginative episodes, I had a very weird thought — Instead of paying so much money for unnatural treatments or going for some random donor, why don’t I just go on a weeklong holiday during my ovulation and get the thing done with some random guy. It would be a one-off thing and no one would be wiser. My husband would think it is his and so he would be happy too. Then I thought of all the dangers like HIV and diseases and I put brakes on that line of thinking.
Also, there was this worry about ‘random guys’ physical and mental health. I wouldn’t want a whiny partner and have a whiny child. Nor would I want someone with fatal diseases to father my child. And what if he was too dumb, too careless or too violent or with a history of drugs?
However, I kept on thinking of all possible alternative, read weird and dangerous, ways to get pregnant. Then I started viewing all men objectively; it didn’t matter if we were in the elevator together, worked together or went to the same gym.
Every man was carefully assessed through my inexhaustible mental questionnaire.
What is he like?
Would he make a good father?
Is he tall enough?
Is he fat?
Does he smoke? Does he do drugs? (I didn’t want someone with lesser chances of getting me pregnant.)
Does he have kids?
Is he caring towards his spouse and kids?
Most importantly, is he intelligent?
Is he earning good enough?
Is he prone to violent tempers?
Doth the man protest / whine / fight too much?
Is he prone to mood swings?
Is he confident with women?
What was his relation with his parents like?
And the list goes on.
Part 2 to follow soon.