I take things personally. I am, after all…human. The nature of our society, is to fuel those feelings. Creating roadblocks on the way to finding a healthy balance, and peace. And sometimes, our attempts at advice do more to hinder than help.

Scenario A: Ingrid’s boyfriend is being a dick. (it could be a vice versa, but for the sake of this post, I’ll just say that women are perfect)

Reaction A: As a friend, I listen to Ingrid, nod my head furiously, then chime in with, “Such a dick! Dump him, yes! You deserve better. Seriously.” Then, launch into a bashing session with her.

Outcome A: Ingrid is pissed, and now I’m pissed. Her boyfriend is in the dog house, and has 2 scathing females ready to pounce on him. We storm away, disgusted. In a bad mood for the rest of the day.

So, what’s wrong with this…right? Nothing, according to our egoic society. We’re taught that we need to take sides, take things personally, protest, and make enemies. But, is that true? This concept doesn’t ONLY pertain to fighting though. On to a quick story #2, then I PROMISE I’ll get to my damn point.

Scenario B: everything seems to be going wrong. EVERYTHING. Car is shutting down, swamped at work and/or school, family or sig other is being ridiculous, and the cat of COURSE puked a f-ing hairball. Jerk.

Reaction B: naturally, I do what any adult would do…throw an absolute fit about how horrible my life is.

Outcome B: shit is still crappy, and I’m not only down in the dumps, but now I’ve worked myself into an anxiety attack frenzy. Yippee!

—-

But, reading one phrase changed my uber egoic perspective on all of this.

“Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you. ” -Eckhart Tolle

So…in “normal” language, wtf does this mean? Basically, to attempt to watch your life as a movie. Step outside of all situations, observe, without allowing thoughts to become emotion. It’s just an acknowledgment of the events happening.

How would this have made scenario A and B different?

Scenario A: one day I just stopped fueling the anger over my friend’s relationship. Instead, I listened. And something cool happened. I just watched her freak out, acknowledging the pain she was going through, but simply nodding and encouraging. Ya know what? The rant was half as long, and instead of it ending in her storming off, and with myself pissed…it ended by my friend talking herself down, finding a calm place, and hugging me for listening.

And, for scenario B: this actually happened the other day. Pretty much every bad thing listed piled on, and Tuxedo the cat even puked a huge f-ing hairball. I started to cry. But, immediately thought, “Movie, just watch the movie…” And, it worked! I mean, that part of my life actually felt more like a crappy after school special than a movie, but that’s not the point. ;-) I acknowledged all of the crap, and started to laugh. Shrugged my shoulders, and realized-no amount of bitching would help. Freedom from rage.

Sure, I get caught up in ego just like the rest of us. I want to “help.” I want to “be right.” I want “life to go my way!” But, having this theory as a touchstone has been so eye-opening. It’s made situations easier to digest, and I no longer tailspin into an anxiety attack (usually, lol).

Now, go watch your movie, and life…with an open mind, acceptance, a bucket of popcorn and a seatbelt. It’s going to be a rad ride.