Keeps your friends close — and your grocery store closer.

It’s seven thirty. I’ve just picked up 2 out of 3 daughters from a variety of school activities and I have no food in the house. I’m scheming in my head as the girls bicker about things I’ll never understand. Sometimes I awaken in the middle of the night and ask myself what is a Pokemon?

Finally, an idea strikes– Canned tuna with dill pickles and a precariously old looking tomato… or perhaps apple sauce and rice from last night with that god awful canned cheese my husband hides in the uppermost cabinet in the kitchen. I let him think I don’t know about it, after all– he lives with 100% women and it makes him feel empowered. Some people do that with yoga, but I think the canned cheese is a little more subversive. Getting in the car, I knew this would happen. I even kind of planned for it… but now I face the cold, cold reality of my situation: I have to go to the grocery store.

I know why people avoid the grocery store like the plague. It can be extremely stressful. Between the institutional lighting and my youngest pleading with every fiber of her being for whatever weird snack food she can get her hands on –the grocery is easily one of those things we are okay with procrastinating. I get it, I really do.

But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be that way. A part of changing your relationship with cooking is forming one with a grocery store. This is a relationship like any other. It’s a two way street, and an on going process. It demands time, respect and even some of that good hot lovin’.

First things first: Location, location, location. You don’t need to go all over hell to get to a Whole Foods because the packaging is cuter and being around people with yoga mats makes you feel good. Find something close, it makes going to the grocery store less intimidating and a lot more realistic.

Next, when it comes to the grocery store your smart phone will not save you. Know where you are going. Make a route for yourself. Mine is cheese, meat, seafood, produce, dry goods, bakery, snack food checkout. If you know where you are going, and you have a routine developed around that route the likelihood of straying from the plan decreases and you’ll get out of there faster, and cheaper.

Walk in with a plan. Lucky for you, that’s what I was put on this earth to give you. Bring your list and commit to it. You don’t actually need those mini donuts, and even though you really like the way that shampoo smells — save it for when it’s on the list. If it helps, even write the items on the list in the order that you will encounter the items along your route. This way you aren’t wandering aimlessly through out purgatory and your children won’t have time to kill you.

I have this weird affinity for the butcher. He knows my name, he gives me meat and provides me with a wealth of information. Get to know an information source in your store. That way when you don’t know what to do you do know where to find the guy that does. That guy will save you when all else fails.

Lastly, efficiency is always increased by consistency. Try to go to the grocery store twice a week at the same time on each day. That way you can accept your fate earlier and equip yourself with the information you need to rip the band-aid off and get it over with, quickly and painlessly and often enough that you can support your cooking goals.

The grocery store can be hell on earth, especially at seven thirty when you are ready to tear out your hair slowly, or suddenly pass out on the floor unconscious– you aren’t sure which. But, if you plan and you execute your trip with efficiency you can do something invaluable for yourself and your family. The journey is worth an hour later when you’ve fed the troops and you’re fulfilling the ultimate oath — to fill your body with goodness that you made.