Dating With Herpes

Jack Lombardi
Dec 3, 2018 · 2 min read

Informing Your Partner

If you’ve just received a genital herpes diagnosis, the idea of dating quite naturally might seem scary and strange. If you are dating and desire sexual intimacy, there is always the difficulty of informing your partner about your infection. You may feel like you are hiding something, and that if you reveal the truth you will be judged and even broken up with. Broaching the topic is never easy. While you may feel like you want to just blurt it out to get it out of the way, it’s always best to wait for the appropriate moment.

So when is the best time to have “The Talk”? Only you can decide when the time is right to reveal that you have genital herpes. Two things you don’t want to do are the following: have “The Talk” after having sex, and waiting for the moment of intercourse to present itself.

If you have HSV, you’re going to want to approach sex in a way that differs from the sexual mores of society today. Nowadays, it’s all too common to begin the dating process with sex. If you have genital herpes, you’re going to need to hold off on sex until a level of trust has been developed. You’re going to want to wait until your partner has grown attached to you and you are not afraid that the news of your infection will cause yor partner to leave as a result of fear.

You should consider broaching the subject before the physical dimension of the relationship begins at all, because as we all know, simple kissing and cuddling can, before you know it, lead to something more serious. When this happens, you really might find yourself in an awkward situation.

Coping with Rejection

Rejection is part of the deal when it comes to the dating game. If you’re HSV positive, fear of rejection multiplies exponentially. Let’s face it, your partner, assuming he or she is not infected with HSV, may get scared, and retreat quickly when you make your infection known. If you do receive a less than warm response after having “the talk”, consider the notion that your partner was looking for a way out all along. If you are humiliated or made to feel bad badly for your condition, your “sweetheart” was never worth it anyway.


If you are rejected, don’t give up! Stay the course. As with any perceived defeat in life, a positive mindset will get you through. Know that you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your condition.

You may also want to consider seeking out somebody who is similarly infected with HSV. A website such as is a great resource for finding partners with your same condition. This will certainly alleviate the fears surrounding “The Talk”, and you may feel most comfortable with someone who shares your condition. Either way, HSV should not hamper your right to a full love life. If you are facing rejection, have faith that there is somebody out there for you, and persevere!

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