His crime was in the staying, not the leaving, and in the lying/gaslighting.

I say this as someone who has cheated and almost cheated repeatedly.

That pull you speak of, that 'no place I’d rather be' feeling, is very difficult to resist. My opinion is that it should be bravely explored, not resisted.

If you are committed to someone else when you feel it. You have to act quickly, decisively, and with great courage.

But, I have never had children, so that may be easier said than done.

I lay a lot of the carnage from infidelity at the feet of societal expectations regarding relationships. Those expectations are strong, loud, and harmful.

You managed the situation generously. My brother and I don’t talk often and I know he is not the easiest romantic partner. But, I would spend less than 5 minutes listening to anyone bash him.

Thanks for writing this, it made me think.