Things I Don’t Miss

While scrolling through tumblr this morning I was reading some of the posts there. I came to the realization that with the recent loss of a friend I’m starting to see how big of a hypocrite she was. All of her ranting and raging about the importance of being open-minded and not judging others. Yet she had an entire matrix set up for doing just that. I can’t count the number of times she’d get all up in my grill for doing it. I didn’t think anything of it at the time because she had a way of doing it that would make me calm the fuck down when I was pissed off. Maybe that was a good thing. I don’t know. I don’t think I should have to apologize for my anger, though. When someone says or does something to offend me, I shouldn’t have to apologize for setting them straight.

All these bloggers and people that she used to talk shit about? They’re not so bad. She let herself get caught up in stupid internet drama because she had so little else going on in her life. I never understood why she cared so fucking much about what strangers thought and now I realize it’s because she set herself up to live a very lonely, very one dimensional life. Her life revolves around the internet. Mine doesn’t. It’s a part of my life but it’s not my only source for social contact. For her it was.

She needed the validation. I don’t. She needed the approval of strangers. I don’t. I have no problem telling someone to eat a dick if they have it coming. She does. Well, she did. I guess now she’s come out of her shell and decided she’s not taking anyone’s shit anymore. Fine. I didn’t think I was a person giving her shit. Sine when is being honest giving someone shit? Oh right. I guess it is if you can’t handle honesty. That certainly seems to be the case here.

Anyone whose opinion differs from hers is someone giving her shit. I don’t need someone like that in my life. I don’t need her superiority complex. I don’t need her bullshit. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

All that said, I wish my former friend the best because wishing bad things for others is bad karma and that’s not how I roll. Well, not usually. In the end, this dissolution of our friendship is probably for the better. I know I deserve better than someone who behaves like a clingy, needy toddler who throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. I’m over that hot mess. I’m too old for it. It’s just crazy how, in hindsight, I can see so many things that were bad about being this person’s friend and I was so blind to them before she was gone.